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Post by mynewunit on Aug 30, 2018 17:41:04 GMT -8
The truth is you don't get to make that decision for them. I understand your heart for your buddies. Here are a few things you can try. 1. Focus them in the next mission. Give them something to focus on. A little productivity, a little success, a little control and they should start steering their life onto the right path. Just like you did. They might need an obvious goal. They might need someone to drag them to a gym, or an event, or a job interview, VFW, councillor, coach. 2. No step too small. Help them by cleaning your room. There are options. If they need a touch of the corps, try dragging them to a GORUCK event. Or a softball league. I taught a buddy guitar lessons for 3 years to keep tabs on his mental state. 3. Have an end to your involvement. If you are going to focus on helping a buddy get his life together, know when you are going to reduce your efforts. If it goes well or if it goes horrible. I maybe it is a text 2 times a week and coffee once a week for 2 months, or till he stops drinking, stops missing work, or misses 2 meetings and stops answering your texts. Let me know if you need help. I am working with 3 guys presently. Texting another one is something I could handle. Even if that is you.
Brian McLean Message me for my cell #.
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Post by mynewunit on Aug 29, 2018 5:23:23 GMT -8
140: “IF”, BY RUDYARD KIPLING: ANALYZED. NOT LIKIN Podcast 140 Page0:00:00 – Opening: “If”, by Rudyard Kipling. 1:06:26 – Are you less of a man if you don’t like to fight? 1:15:37 – Personal intelligence VS Physical Prowess. 1:19:33 – How to give tactful criticism. 1:28:06 – Best way to combine striking and grappling. 1:40:51 – How to deal when someone is fired and you disagree with that decision. 1:48:16 – Is it always bad to be a little unapproachable? 1:50:34 – What to do if you’re ever BROKEN. 1:54:50 – Support. 2:27:18 – Closing Gratitude. If — Rudyard Kipling, 1865 - 1936 If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you; If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or, being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise; If you can dream—and not make dreams your master; If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with triumph and disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to broken, And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools; If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breathe a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on"; If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with kings—nor lose the common touch; If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you; If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds' worth of distance run— Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And—which is more—you'll be a Man, my son!
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Post by mynewunit on Aug 23, 2018 19:11:21 GMT -8
139: WHATEVER DARKNESS YOU FACE, START WALKING. (THE BATAAN DEATH MARCH)”A SOLDIER’S JOURNAL”, JAMES BOLLICH Podcast 139 Page0:00:00 – Opening 0:02:50 – James Bollich, “A Soldier’s Journal” 0:00:00 - Going to the Asia 0:00:00 - Retreat 0:00:00 - Surrender and March 0:00:00 - Reach the destination 0:00:00 - Korea 0:00:00 - To Japan 0:00:00 - Freedom 0:00:00 - Boat Ride goes bad 0:00:00 - Finally Home 2:07:38 – Final Thoughts and Take-aways. 2:21:30 – Support. 2:49:58 – Closing Gratitude.
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Post by mynewunit on Aug 23, 2018 18:44:51 GMT -8
Mark you sound like and incredible man. I have doubt that is the truth. I know a few kids who have had similar surgeries and you are right. Most of them don't make it to a third decade. There was pick, and help but the thing that gets you to 30 is WILL. You have that in triplicate. I understand the emotions. I have all of them every time my fit bit battery dies. I definitely would have them if I was looking at an operation with a rib spreader. The question I would ask is how should I handle this surgery now that I am a dad and a husband. 3 thoughts. Number 1. Share the experience. Tell your wife and son that this is scary. You wish you didn't need to do this. You are feeling sick and you want to feel better. You trust the doctors, ask good questions and make a good decisions. Number 2. Train your replacement. Give your circle a heads up. Plan for every feasible outcome. Who fills in at work, home and elsewhere? Prep them for good and bad. Let them know what you see in them, that you appreciate them, that you are thankful for having them in your life. Number 3. You shouldn't be here. Everyday is a gift. I know it us hard to think that when you are hurting, tired, sick, frustrated and bored. Insight from others can help provide perspective. You must understand that life isn't fair. And while most people should assume they have years let, you are already in the red. That doesn't mean I don't expect you to outlast me. Just take moments. Enjoy them. Writing checks to pay bills. Washing dishes. Cleaning up. Norman Lear has a phrase "this too I get to experience". Have that thought.
Do Good and be well, Mark. Oss
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Post by mynewunit on Aug 23, 2018 16:06:02 GMT -8
Sounds great. Was there a question in there?
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Post by mynewunit on Aug 21, 2018 20:11:54 GMT -8
It is mentioned in many books. Chechnya, Vietnam and Hackworth, one of the WW2 books. I agree that it is a vestige of civility. Maintaining a clean shave is a thing of modern, organized, civilized culture. A means of conforming. Giving up on that is the first step to compromising what is acceptable.
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Post by mynewunit on Aug 21, 2018 20:03:46 GMT -8
So every other time anyone posts in this tread, I say you are not too old, or fat, or slow, or broken to try BJJ. All those recommendations on HOW to start or TRY BJJ are still wise and valid. Good training partners, Tell you instructor and training partner about your injuries, and ideally a private lesson. There are a bunch of things that specifically concern me about this situation. 2 shoulder surgeries before 30. Most recent shoulder surgery isn't even 1 year ago. You are too young to control yourself from going too hard on the mats. This would be my plan, not too different than Drann's, Get your shoulder strong. Not healed but strong. My thought is that this would be something like dumbbells and yoga for a few weeks. Once you have seen some progress, then I would try to add some gymnastic type movements. Dips, rings, planks, inversions, etc. You need to make your muscles strong in addition to tendons and ligaments. Once you have completed this you should be ready to try BJJ. I would assume the prep would be about 6 months. Obviously, talk to a doc, or physical therapist, or BJJ coach.
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Post by mynewunit on Aug 21, 2018 19:34:46 GMT -8
Forgot I hadn't written a response to this post. First, Quite the dissertation. You are only a few thousand more words away from completing Jordan Peterson's Self Authoring.
Second, Life isn't fair. I tell my kids all the time that my goal is to make sure their lives aren't fair. You got a big dose of not fair. You aren't the only one. Jocko had 2 examples of guys who served, got forced out with a medical, then came back to being what the rest of the world would call a stud. Andy Stumpf and Mike Ritland. I would recommend listening to both of their podcasts to get an understanding on how to end your fight. Would you have regrets about hanging up your dress whites if you knew you were going to become a top dog trainer or wing suit expert?
Now I understand that being a mechanical engineer feels like a sentence to a desk. There are other options for serving. Look into the Fire, EMS, or what I am up to right now FEMA. There are lots of options for adding some meaning or service to your next mission. The annoying news is that it will probably take a few years till you are in a place to make those decisions or calls. Someone out of school doesn't get to pick their spot, but if you stay humble and work hard, you eventually get to steer your own career.
Find you Mission. I don't want to tell you to give up your re-enlistment. But if their answer is no, your answer should be GOOD. Good, you get to start your private sector career earlier, you can focus on things at home, you can take the lessons from Iraq to the streets of the US. Good, medical retirement and you could be at the healthiest you have been in your life. Be glad, and thankful it isn't due to something that makes every day tasks a challenge, like loosing a leg, arm, or brain function.
I would make the Navy say no to you. That would help put the demons and "could have been"s to rest. Then move on from your brothers of the corps, to your brothers like me. Mechanical Engineers, who infiltrate society and fix problems with people.
Thanks for asking. Good luck and God Speed. Brian McLean, PE
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book
Aug 21, 2018 18:58:57 GMT -8
Post by mynewunit on Aug 21, 2018 18:58:57 GMT -8
Hello Colin, That book comes out the 25th of September. I would order it on a platform like amazon.com or walmart.com or at your local book seller. If history repeats it's self, you might want to check the shop at Echelon Front .com if you are interested in a signed copy. Those typically run about $40. Again, if they copy what they have done in the past. Glad to hear about the BJJ. Stay on the Path. Beat Army.
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Post by mynewunit on Aug 20, 2018 15:04:01 GMT -8
So my answer is both. I like the hands free of the audio book. Certain things do improve an audio book like it being read by the author. Assuming the author is also an interesting orator. Another thing is if there is some art to the words. Rhyme or iambic pentameter. Specifically I think of Mark Twain and Edgar Allen Poe. So why hold the book. Spoken word puts thoughts into your head. Expression, inflection, change how we hear words. Pages of characters leave room for interpretation. You bring a lot to how you read something. You see the characters. You hear the voices. You have to convert those letters into words, then thoughts then feelings and experiences. Like many things there is a dichotomy. They are 2 parts. Not opposed but complimentary. They have their pros and cons like you mentioned. Don't feel that you should obtain from either. I appreciate the thought out arguement and the openness to feedback. Keep on the path.
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Post by mynewunit on Aug 14, 2018 17:15:24 GMT -8
138: THE DICHOTOMY OF LEADERSHIP WITH LEIF BABIN. SELF CONTROL, AND HOW TO FIND THE BALANCE. Podcast 138 Page0:00:00 – Opening 0:08:10 – The Dichotomy of Leadership with Leif Babin 1:07:37 – Self control and When to raise your voice. 1:11:10 – Ensuring success when working with Iraq Troops. 1:21:23 – Balancing giving clear direction and talking too much. 1:25:48 – IN n’ Out VS What a Burger. 1:27:42 – Teaching Jiu Jitsu white belts “dangerous” techniques. 1:35:23 – Is the Muster for older people, too? 1:36:33 – Are big group meetings less productive than smaller group meetings? 1:43:29 – How to mediate upper management and front line troops at work. 1:49:17 – Avoiding isolation of leadership. 1:56:21 – What has change for Leif and Jocko from the time Extreme Ownership was written until now? 2:02:23 – Support. 2:35:58 – Closing Gratitude.
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Post by mynewunit on Aug 14, 2018 17:10:12 GMT -8
Jocko takes questions from twitter, facebook, instagram, and I even think the warrior kid youtube comments. The double secret method is info@echelonfront.com but don't tell anyone. That is an email address that is filtered before it gets to Jocko.
Keep on the Path, Warrior Kid, and Trooper Parent.
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Post by mynewunit on Aug 14, 2018 17:03:23 GMT -8
Iris is awesome and is generally pretty responsive on twitter. I know she is selling her farm as part of some family "mission" change, so she might be a little busy and take a while to respond. Twitter IrisHere is a similar thread from another woman leader. Staff accountability ThreadThe next part is harder. Can women lead men? Sure. Is it different than leading other women? Jocko was once asked this and he said it wasn't a factor. . . . . . . . because every human is different. Now the real question. How do you lead your teams of 6? Element 1: Know your people. Take care of your people. - This means knowing what people's interests and strengths are. Who arrives early and stays late? Who responds better to instructions in an email and who responds better to face to face? Element 2: Demonstrate the behaviors you want from the team. Ask a lot of yourself, before asking of others. Help them see the art of working on the team. Show them where you are going tomorrow, year out, 10 years out. Element 3: Lead at every level. Who are you training to take your job? What tasks or insights are you giving them to demonstrate themselves? Who is going to take their job? Where do they need to improve? Element 4: Be transparent. Tell your team leaders to ask more of you. Tell them to let you know when you are coming across as the B****. Ask them what you need to do better, and what they need from you. Don't do their job, but do your part and then ask more of them. There are a lot of little dynamics to these situations. Listen to the Jocko podcast on Chesty Puller to hear how he was firm and forgiving. Podcast 121 Thread. I would try to work on your confidence. I bet you have something in your mind that you have wanted to do for years but haven't, skydiving, cross-fit, Europe trip. Something like that might help the confidence. Another way you could change your dynamic is with some physical cues. Things like weight lifting, no real weight lifting. 3 rep sets of dead lift, squat, overhead press, per the Starting Strength Novice Progression will add some real weight to your lifts, a few lbs to your body, and can change how you look at yourself and others look at you. Another thing, that men don't think about but do react to, is your make up. If you have a routine, drop half of it and see how it changes your interactions at work. More Black on Black Audi A6, rather than chrome rims on an Escalade. Start small. Little bit everyday. Courage, Confidence and Strength are built day by day, not found. Once you make some progress, find someone who can show you more. Get after it, Trooper Christine.
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Post by mynewunit on Aug 12, 2018 14:32:57 GMT -8
This feels like it falls into a similar category as Am I too old. Your concern is getting hurt. Be selective with training partners. Don't go crazy with sessions. Pick a few days a week. Maybe check the concept of RPE (rate of perceived exertion) to train without soreness.
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Post by mynewunit on Aug 12, 2018 14:05:44 GMT -8
I have a similar situation I was just thrust into. You got the front-line staff huddle improving communication. Now you need a management huddle. Nasty grams are nothing new. You have to work that from both sides. First, you need to work on the receiver side. I have done this with the guys on my team. The company makes a statement, or rolls out a new policy, they have to look through the front line and call out anything they see as counter problematic. This is prime time for a nasty gram. When someone gets a nasty gram, and they bring it to you, the first thing to do is find the truth in the nasty gram. Where did it come from? Why was it sent? The next thing is what is the right reaction. Form the correct responses to the nasty gram, actions, changes, follow up. I often have fun responding to those when they are emails. Next step is to talk to the sender. Ask them why they sent that message, what response they wanted, and then read them their message. Ask them if they think they conveyed that properly with that message.
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