You have 2 or 3 different problems that you are talking about that aren't necessarily linked.
1. Being a girl doesn't stop you from getting a job in the military. Poor qualifications, Distractions, and poor work effort stops you from getting you a job in the military. 2. The job you get in the military is determined by the vacancies and the number of people who want those jobs. On September 11th, one of the few fighters we scrambled had a female pilot. She was there because she was a hard charger, bright and qualified. You could become a logistics driver, refuel and resupply, and be around every fight or fighting unit. There are 2 options for finding a job in military. 1. David Berke or 2. Travis Mills. David Berke knew exactly what he wanted to do and were he wanted to be. He got there by always being the best qualified, most ready candidate for those positions. Travis Mills joined and then just toward what he liked. 3. You can be small and strong. While there are a lot of examples of this, Nikki is a coach.
Nikki Sims can probably pull (deadlift) as much as half the guys walking into the recruiters office. Getting strong takes work: Lifting, eating, rest and sleep. Try the starting strength program.
Mine is a fifth grader. She started getting manipulated in 4th grade. Being a Jocko disciple, I did the Jocko Answer = Jiu-Jitsu. Obviously Jiu-Jitsu takes a while to have any effect. She has been in for about 1 year now and she has begun to have some confidence and success in BJJ.
The more immediate thing I did, was get her some time with her friends. A few play dates and a few breakfast dates with dad and shopping trips with mom and they can gain some perspective.
One problem is that the word bullying is everywhere. Explaining to the kids that we all had to deal with that doesn't help. What does help is getting the kids to talk about it with other wise adults. Tell her to talk to her teacher, Sunday school teacher, dance coach, mom, grandma, Jocko, and whoever you trust for wisdom. Get her focused on solutions. Talking with these people will let her know that this happens and doesn't have to be a secret. The first thing to teach her is exit. If someone is ever crossing a line with you, you can leave. There is no situation you can't separate from. Walk yourself out of the room. There are repercussions. She will have to handle those when they come. If they don't let you leave, and it raises to a physical confrontation, then the rules change again.
There was a lot of discussion about saying sorry on Jocko Podcast 108. Jocko says that saying your sorry is not a sign of weakness. And I agree. Sarah Armstrong twitter says not only say you are sorry, but ask for forgiveness. Echo's comment is that asking for forgiveness is heavy handed. Because only a "dick wouldn't forgive you"
0:09:07 – How to stand up to new leadership when you don’t like their attitude.
0:21:01 – Clarification on the expression, “If there’s a doubt, there is no doubt.”
0:26:19 – Should Other martial arts belts carry over in any way to Jiu Jitsu belts?
0:30:50 – How to take ownership of your boss not listening to your feedback.
0:44:54 – Should you take up Jiu Jitsu in Your 40s when You’re already well into Other Martial Arts?
1:03:08 – How to implement Extreme Ownership when the blame falls to you anyway (because of your low rank).
1:14:51 – Does Apologizing show weakness? 1:16:00 - Sarah Armstrong Shout-out.
1:20:01 – Should you stand down if another team member is showing better leadership than you?
1:25:24 – Support: JockoStore stuff, Super Krill Oil and Joint Warfare and Discipline Pre-Mission, Origin Brand Apparel and Jocko Gi, with Jocko White Tea, Onnit Fitness stuff, and Psychological Warfare (on iTunes). Extreme Ownership (book), The Discipline Equals Freedom Field Manual.
Strangely I have actually dealt with something similar, as far as training/working with an overseas office. We use an Asian office to create building models that we/they then use for project calculations. Now if someone else reads that statement, they see it as one task. For me it was more like 10. 1. How to communicate with someone on a different continent and time zone. 2. How to clearly define what I want. 3. How to clearly define what I don't know. 4. How do they tell me they don't understand or think I am wrong. 5. Then logistics stuff. Latest files, Reference documents. How to check, verify. When is their task "Done".
They first problem I see is that your company leadership can't explain the why. That means we need to ask better questions. For my work, the Asian office is cheaper than the US one. The more Asia did, the more project time ($) I had to complete my work.
So question Number 1 is Why are you doing this? You don't have to tell me, but have a reason.
Number 2. What pieces are going right? How is team communication? Have they tried a sample or test run? Should they be able to?
Number 3. How many of the problems can you control? You can't control issues with the overseas supplier, but you might be able to have some influence. You can't change their daylight hours, but you might be able to shift your workday to line up with theirs. Yes. You look like a moron sitting in the office an 1 in the morning to have a project call asking people to repeat themselves because you are half asleep and can't understand their accents.
Number 4. Clearly communicate to you supervisor the successes and failures you are having. What is the next step? What are the knowns and unknowns? Assumptions?
Number 5. Not my fault is not a plan. This is the saying that is bouncing around my house. I don't care that it doesn't work. I don't care that the world stopped you from doing your spelling homework. What are you doing to fix it? Do you need to go visit the overseas operation? Is there another manager that had a similar project? Is there a person you believe would make a difference if they were added or removed from the current situation.
Number 6. Focus on one area and get a victory. Don't beat a dead horse. Define the next step for each project element. Give it to someone else to review. Ask them which to focus on first, and why they answered that way. Then communicate it to the team. Let them know that you can't do this project by yourself. You are here to help them. Ask where they need help. Tell them where you need help.
0:06:45 – “Hal Moore on Leadership: Winning When Outgunned and Outmanned.”
0:11:30 - Ask yourself what you should be doing 0:12:30 - Focus on the Right Thing: Pickworth and Presley shout outs. 0:22:00 - Instincts 0:26:38 - Doubt 0:30:00 - Discipline and lead yourself 0:32:30 - Never say no to yourself 0:35:30 - Never Quit. There is Always a way. 0:39:30 - Yelling at subordinates. 0:44:00 - Toxic Leaders 0:47:20 - Because I said so 0:59:00 - 5 to 6 hours of sleep per night. 0:59:30 - Read 1:00:00 - Lesson from Occupied Japan - Maintain Discipline 1:05:00 - Solve at the lowest level. Senior with a secret 1:16:00 - Be visible 1:20:00 - Rules to war. Enemy gets a vote, Young Men Die. 1:25:00 - Their Job is as important as your job. Everyone is the most important 1:32:00 - Lieutenant Leadership in Combat: 4 confidences 1:39:00 - Echo says "curse of leadership" - Drink 2 at home. 1:39:40 - Problem Sources: Women, Alcohol, Money, Vehicles,
1:41:42 – Final Thoughts and Take-Aways.
1:43:00 – Support: JockoStore stuff, Super Krill Oil and Joint Warfare and Discipline Pre-Mission, Origin Brand Apparel and Jocko Gi, with Jocko White Tea, Onnit Fitness stuff, and Psychological Warfare (on iTunes). Extreme Ownership (book), The Discipline Equals Freedom Field Manual.