Dealing with a button pusher

[Good...]

Have a fairly new gf and ran into an interesting situation when introduced to my one of her friend groups the other day. There was one guy there who was not only a douche, but a button pusher. Without going into too much detail, how do you guys handle the guy who is attempting to get a rise out of you when it’s beyond normal shit talking and just disrespectful talk/actions towards my gf and I. I can tell he enjoys being a troll to people to see how they react. At what point are you ready to be confrontational or throw down? I’m a purple belt in jiu jitsu, and while I’m pretty confident in my abilities, I don’t know if that’s the right course of action. I look back on keeping my cool and laughing it off and wonder if that was a bitch move. I tend to struggle with words in these confrontational situations so I’m not looking to get into a verbal back and forth. But am also not wanting to feel disrespected like that in the case I have to see him again. Thoughts?

[mynewunit]

2 Points under the heading of Control what you can control.

If I am ever in a situation with someone who is trying to get under my skin, especially when I am the new guy or the guy out of my element, Go with one word answers. They don't have to be specifically one word. And be ready for them to become the routine, they will be parroted back to you. When people are talking to you go with lots of yes or no answers. When someone says something that is over the line toward your girl, have a small medium and large response. Small might be "really". Medium might be "That feels excessive". Large might be "Is that necessary". If they are shooting at you, I like the response "Check". Ignore as much as possible. If they don't get a response from you, they will stop making a point of doing it.

You don't want to be lunch bucket. Listen to the Jordan Peterson story about working a summer job with Lunch Bucket. When there is a new person entering the group, you want them to be resilient, able to take criticism, understand the flow of the group.

The next thing is to be honest with your girl.  Tell her that the situation makes you uncomfortable. Tell her specifically who is the problem and what you don't like.  Tell her you don't like the things that they say about her. Tell her that you are generally going to keep your answers short. Ask her when you are allowed to call your out, and leave. Make a plan. Secret sign or code word.

Stay calm. Step back, look around, make a call. Play the long game.

I am going to guess at your age and station in life, that a long relationship is measured in months.  I wouldn't take much of this seriously. Get your 10 year plan in line. Then get rid of all the people who wont help or make the journey with you. 

[Good...]

Many thanks man. I believe I’m very good at friendly banter with groups of guys (lunch box scenario). I think there is a point where it goes beyond that and you’re forced out of the comfort zone, especially with a girlfriend with you. I will 100% use your advice if faced with the same or similar situation though. Appreciate your time.

[shane]

+1 for staying calm and ignoring.
90% of the time if you escalate these are the kind of people who will goad you into hitting them and then come after you legally afterwards. They're not worth your time.