Anxiety/Panic Attack

[waltwill548]

Jocko and people of the forum,

Now before I jump right to the topic at hand let me just say this is a two parted question that correlate with each other. FYI, I'm a US Marine Corps veteran with a pump to Afghanistan and one on a MEU, just in case you want to know why I was at the VA.

I recently went to the VA to get an MRI done on an old injury in my elbow. As I laid on the table, the techs began to strap in my arm to get it secured for the duration of the MRI. It felt pretty uncomfortable but I said screew it let's just get this done. They gave me the ball to squeeze in case I needed to get out or for assistance. As I got sent into the tube I felt my arms and shoulders rub against the MRI tube and after about 30 seconds I opened my eyes. Serve panic and rage then followed. It was like every bit of anxiety and fear I had ever experienced condensed into one singular moment.

Now I had an MRI done when I was in my first or second year in the corps, went through it like a breeze. Had a cat scan last year, not a singke problem. I've always had a fear of super condensed spaces but I'm talking like being buried alive where you can't extend your arms or raise your knees. I can tolerate back seats of small cars and elevators but apparently my bit of claustrophobia never kicked in till years after getting out of the service. Has anyone else had experiences like this? And if so what did you change about your life to accommodate such issues?

I'd like to also mention that deploying and everything I had ever experienced on the deployments or in my time in the military never caused this type of anxiety to where I reacted in such a manner. Thinking back, I did have trouble sleeping in the birthing unit beds on the MEU. My rack was against a bunch of lockers and I remember that my shoulders would touch the wall of the rack and locker. Thus leading to sleepless nights possibly because of my unown claustrophobia. Also in the past few days I discovered that when I ever try to imagine myself going back into the MRI machine I start to panic a little bit. Nothing severe but certainly a bit anxious.

The second part of this post had to relate to the injury of the elbow.

My left elbow, non dominent arm, sustained repetetive abuse thought the years. The injury itself may have been sustained throughout my time practicing martial arts and/or to the repetitiveness of the opening and closing of the mwrap doors resulting in hyper extension and over compression of the elbow.

Has anyone with a background in martial arts injured their elbow in such a manner? I.e. the hyper extension or over compression. Possibly caused by armbars that you thought you could fight through. If so, what did you do? MRI? Pyshcial therapy? OT? Was there a diagnosis? Please share what you have had happen since I do not want to go back into that MRI machine again. Even though I have already rescheduled another attempt but with sedatives (Ativan).

Thanks for your time!
S/F
Walter

[mynewunit]

1. Things less than a tour with the Marines can cause a fear or anxiety to come to the surface. If you took the tube ride of an MRI I would assume I would be fine, but then strap an arm. That would be a lot harder to predict. Not to dime store psychologist this but this could be some other part of your life that is triggered by the confinement. Do you trapped or something that you can't avoid. Something with great uncertainty.
You could try exposure therapy. Jocko talked about it on the warrior kid podcast and Jordan Peterson talks about it often.
A CT could get a glimpse at the elbow. It won't get them a picture of the cartalidge injury but might identify other contributors.
2. Joints are tricky. First, how about some joint warfare and krill or fish oil. A little maintenance might help. The next thing I would recommend would be building strength. This doesn't have to be pushups or curls. There are a lot of exercises that will build arm strength without using the elbow. I would try an arm passive movement like dead lift or kettle bell swings, then elbow extending that didn't agrivate your injury like bench press or push press. Eventually I might find an arm formation, like rows or curls. Pay attention to your body. Strength comes from weight not reps. Don't think you need 3 sets of twenty 5 sets of 3 is better. Build consistently, maybe 5 lbs per week, 2 workouts per week.
Learn how to describe the pain. Learn what effects it. Learn the movements that prevent the harm. Then when you Do get the MRI then they can confirm what you already know.

[silencedogood]

Thank you for your service, Devil Dog.

A few thoughts on your situation. What MNU said about Joint Warfare for the elbow is spot on. That stuff is a miracle worker for joints. There are a couple of other things, not specifically related to the elbow,  that I would look into if I were in your shoes.

Wim Hof Method may be very helpful in both healing the elbow injury and helping to calm your anxiety. The method seems so easy and works on so many levels that it looks too good to be true. But it is true, and it does work. There have been tons of studies done by accredited universities on the method and it is causing medical science to rethink everything. Specifically for you, the method causes your blood to become both highly oxygen saturated and very alkaline. Both of these are known to accelerate physical healing. The method also activates the endocannabinoid system. This is your body's internal anti-anxiety/pain killing system. The cannabinoids made by your body are identical to the substance in marijuana that gets you high and relieves pain. So you will be literally "high on your own supply". You won't get all giddy and stupid, you just feel really good.

Another possibility may be finding a Gillespie Approach CFT practitioner. CFT is also highly effective for numerous issues, both physical and psychological. I learned CFT from Dr. Gillespie about 5 years ago and I have seen it work miracles first hand. A few examples,  a frozen shoulder that was set for surgery and I had it working in about 30 minutes. A friend's baby would not nurse on the left breast,  but took the right one fine. Her doc said she wasn't producing as much on the left so he didn't want it. I worked on the baby for about 15 minutes and that night he started nursing on the left with no issues. My father in law had dangerously high blood pressure,  like stroke territory. 2 45 minute CFT sessions and he was in the normal range. I could go on but no need to. So, look into that if you'd like.

Hope that helps. Blessings to you, sir

[A.B.]

this is a good post, ok, I have a question: I've been through a lot of stuff recently and at some point things started to give (long story, mainly need advice on the symptoms):

- i feel like crying - usually when something reminds me of "the stuff" but not all the time - sometimes its just random - like a song or something emotional
- i swear more, faster - like in traffic, not AT anyone but still, it didn't used to bother me

it goes away when I feel like I made progress of some kind (at whatever I'm working on) but comes back when I don't.

Its like im have less ability to withstand shit. And i mainly hate it.

The crying thing happens more when im relaxed, the angry thing when im not. but neither is exactly good. I don't sleep well. The tension stays with me, so I sleep like shit. It used to be worse about a year ago. I couldn't sleep at all. I stayed in bed a lot but im not actually asleep. I either have bad dreams or woke up with clenched fists. One time I woke up almost shouting. That's never happened before.

keeping busy sometimes works but not always - or it just helps while im doing it. not later or not overall.

initially it felt like just pain, like someone stuck a hot knife in my brain. like when you touch something really cold and somehow your nerves register it as hot. that went away after a few months but comes back if i talk to anyone that was around when it happened (the "bad guys", lol).

The above is the improved version.

(the incident - I found out someone had put malware into a campus network and no one wanted to take it out - they wanted to use it, not remove it and when i pushed the issue, threatened to target ppl in my network - I had lost an account so they knew a lot of ppl in my network - my family turned on me, we had issues before, but they REALLY turned on me after. they're not good ppl...i didn't know before, not the extend, the extend was shocking. the fact that other's didn't want to deal with it either was the most shocking. the fact that they just wanted to use the incident instead of fixing the problem - i don't get it, i just don't get it.)

The main issue is financial, bc a lot of ppl know what happened and I started loosing work opportunities and its just damage - my brain can't accept the fact that I was just trying to help out and protect ppl and everyone turned on me instead of helping me. It doesn't fit. I never had a problem like this before, i always had good relationships with ppl before. But I lost all of them at once. and a lot of them were apparently not that strong.

Its better then it was, but its not gone. I hate the crying, I hate feeling fragile. I hate them for blaming me when I was the one who tried to help fix it. I hate feeling week. Not being able to control my emotions is weak. Having to go on income assistance is weak. Its not my fault but they just started denying me jobs. I can't believe its happening but it is.

I hate acknowledging the damage, bc it feels like im giving it more power then it already has, but i hate lieing too. There are too many things I hate about this. I didn't used to hate anything. BUT I also never felt so powerless before.

Thoughts? anything really? (even writing this stuff feels like I've run a mile, talking about it is almost impossible - plus there's no one to talk to).

[A.B.]

why the main issue financial: bc when my job goes well, i feel strong and have independance and the ability to get away from things I don;t like. when its bad, i don't have that.

what I hated the most: the manipulation. I freakin hate them for being manipulative evil shits. and I hate them most bc they kept doing it long after the initial incident. i hate them a lot. in case that's not clear. there;s no ambiguity about my feelings - 100% rejection as soon as i noticed what they did. (just being honest)

[A.B.]

they could use the influence they have to do good things, and build ppl up and do good in the community, instead all they do is tear ppl down and try to get them to accept shit. They leverage employment with turning a blind eye. And I sincerely hate them for it. If you don't tell anyone about this, I'll help you get a job tomorrow, sort of thing. I have a lot of influence in this area, blah, blah, blah.

Hate. It. In case that wasn't clear: 100% - NO.

[A.B.]

why is it that asswipes have no problem misusing their contacts but normal ppl have a problem stepping up and not allowing them to. Maybe if I can figure that out i'll sleep better. Why does the world have to equal either jerks or bystanders? i've never been a bystander, i would have gone to the ends of the earth NOT to be a bystander, why aren't there more ppl like me? I don't have multiple heads or anything. just the one.

whats the point in trying to do everything right if others can just get ahead by cheating and ruin your chances? u have to be aware enough to study how they're doing it (and I was) but then what? if no one wants to listen or fix the issue. You just managed to draw attention to yourself and make yourself into a better target and accomplished nothing.

[silencedogood]

A.B.

I'm sorry all that happened to you. It sounds awful. Please take this for what its worth. If its helpful to you, great. If not, discard it and move on. As I read your post, I see a lot of "they" and "them" statements. Bro, the only person you have any control over is you. As long as you are focused on "them" and what "they" did, you will never recover. The fact that you're here, posting, says a lot about your character. I think you're strong enough and smart enough to move past this. But you gotta let it go. Bitterness and resentment are like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. It's only killing you. Release them to the judgement of God, knowing that He will judge righteously. Again, bro, I know they hurt you, I know they did you wrong and there is no excusing what they did. But you gotta let it go because it's only killing you. Guaranteed they 100% do not care that you're hurting. Or worse, they're enjoying the fact that they hurt you. Don't give them the satisfaction. You're better than that. You're better than them.