HI I seek EO help

[mindylouwho]

Jocko,

About 2 years ago I first heard of Extreme Ownership, read the book, have the field manual, heard you speak and routinetly listen to podcasts.   I love the concept and part of my department has adopted EO.  We recently went thru a restructure and those of us that follow and live Extreme Ownership are having a hard time getting uptake into this new structure.  2 Different teams have come together and one is a strong team willing to practice EO, the other does not.  I'm dealing with colleagues that now routinely throw others under the bus as part of their culture.   I refuse to participate in this, as my understanding with EO is that if you have a problem you go directly to the source and follow the Chain of Command.  This isn't happening and I feel that my character has been assassinated at work because of this culture straight to my management.  I am a high performer with no history of any problems at work and now I feel like I have a target on my back because of the nature of this new team that hasn't adopted EO.  

Can you give me advise on how to address this and stop this divided culture of back stabbing, telling on others, and throwing others under the bus?  Any advise is appreciated.

Thank you,

Mindylouwho

[mynewunit]

Great question.
First you want to acknowledge all the human aspects at play. These teams were combined for a reason, but not because you all wanted it. People are rebelling against that change, first and foremost. Second, combining the teams changes all the culture. That makes everything feel different and wrong. This is a version of the good old days. Part of this is just the unknown of the future. Look at actions through this filter.

First, communication. When something is said, you need to stop inferring. One author said that you have to remover yourself from what others said. In short, don't take anything personal. But when they complain about something that was your project, they might just be complaining. They might have a good insight as to how to make it better, but just have not framed it well. Somethings can feel like throwing someone under the bus. Electrical can't power the equipment until HVAC tells us how big it is. But there are real conflicts there. Electrical can't guess. HVAC has to know a lot of aspects to get their part right. The problem isn't that electrical follows HVAC. The problem is that everything up stream has to happen first. There are 2 answers to this type of problem. First is to help up steam. Second is to help down stream. If there were delays, maybe the deadline needs to be moved. Maybe all the players need to be aware that the deadline is not going to move and intermediate milestones need to be dated so that it doesn't keep building to the end.

Second is relationships. If you don't have a relationship with any of the new team members, that would be a great place to start. Great way to do this would be to ask them how they do a task, or forecast work, or budget, or schedule vacations. Let them teach you. And listen. Wait weeks before correcting. Now obviously, if they are telling you something illegal, stop them. If they are not adhering to company standards, then we look at the standards, see if they are valid and then nudge the team in the right direction. Another thing that can be a problem with EO mentality is, if their team is used to hearing good news and bad news from a single individual, then you go talk to any member of their team, that feels invasive. Find out how they typically share information, hear good news, handle punishment or project failures.

I know this probably feels against your character or personality. Remember the goal. Make the team function better. To do that you will have to build trust and respect. This will come faster if you are humble, quick to listen and slow to speak. Understand team performance will probably take a hit, but it is better to finish together. Share the credit. Share the blame. This will probably be a stretch outside your comfort zone and typical job. Make sure you are clear about your intentions. Tell people when you are doing something you are not good at. Ask for help. If you aren't hearing no, you aren't asking enough. Good luck and be patient.