Earning My Place

[AndrewEcker]

Jocko and Echo,

Thank you for taking the time to listen; I am a BJJ blue belt and I love all things Jiu jitsu. I have changed who I am as a husband, a father, a friend and a professional because of the lessons I have learned on the mats in the past 18-20months.

My dilemma is that I don't feel that I am deserving of my rank and place in school, or as a good representative of what it means to be a blue belt in the Ricardo Almeida association. I just re-listened to podcast 86, and I agree with your sentiment in regards to the belts but there is no doubt that new students see the belt and have a certain expectation about how they should perform against someone with color around their waist.

My skill set suffers because I am a disabled grappler - 12 years ago I broke my neck in two places, and have been a quad ever since with pretty significant weakness to my left arm, hand, leg, and core. I truly believe I have one of the greatest instructors in all of BJJ (I know, everyone says that) and I feel that my rank should be a testament to his knowledge and effort.

I struggle each day to remain disciplined in the journey, reminding myself that every day on the mat is about pushing my own rock and being an example to those around me. But it is hard. It is hard to remain disciplined when you are getting handled with ease by guys and girls that have just begun training.

My question to you is this; should I request that my promotions are slowed down until I feel that I am representing the skill set of an individual deserving of that rank under my instructor? Is that notion disrespectful in any way?

Respectfully submitted for your review,

Andrew

[mynewunit]

Andrew. Many of the things you see as weaknesses I see as strength. I don't think your teacher is advancing you too fast. Having physical limitation often helps you to put technique as a focus since you cannot revert to using strength to cover imperfections.
You are also incredibly aware. No one else in your class is thinking that they are being advanced too fast. You are seeing all your weaknesses as deficits to your fellow class mates. Your mental strength is much greater than the "athletes" in your class.
The man who started jiu-jitsu adapted all the techniques due to his lack of strength. You may be more like him, than you think. Obviously his children were often physical specimens of perfection. But the craft was made to give the weakest advantages over the physically dominant.

You may have the conversation with your coach. Let them know that you feel you are being advanced faster than you deserve. Don't ask for a demotion. Let him tell you how you have earned your belt.