when its out of our hands, when do we give up?

[Jonjon1415]

I cant find anywhere to send this message so im using this message board.  My apologies

Jocko/Echo... I'm 34, 5'11", 228# Army Vet, Jiu Jitsu, 5AM Crossfit, Keto, Getting after it every day

I'm faced with a hard decision right now and I need some advice...  When should i quit the fight? When is enough, enough? when do we settle? 

I was 7 Years Active Army, got out as a SGT, life goal has always been to become an Officer. After getting out I got my degree, now i'm almost done with my masters, and ready to go to OCS. I started the process in 2014 but my recruiters didn't know how to complete an OCS packet. It has taken over 3 years and 5 different recruiters before getting a board date. I passed the board in September and was stoked and ready to go back and complete my dream of being an Army Officer, to lead men, to make myself, the Army, and Soldiers better. Before signing my contract I was told that I am now too old (turned 34 in May) and that I cannot contract. This is insane, I should have been boarded 2 years ago. I requested a waiver (since they are currently authorized), and it was rejected by USAREC. Of course my recruiter said i was SOL and should just sign back up as an NCO and drive on. To me this was unacceptable, so I emailed the CSM of USAREC (CSM Stoneburg) explaining my situation. I then called him 3 days later and was handed over to the Deputy Director of G3 Todd Sherman. After hearing how the recruiting station had treated my file, dragged their feet, and were not knowledgeable about how to handle it, he agreed to send it up to DA for approval (he had been the one who denied moving it forward to DA before). A day later I received an email from CSM Stoneburg saying that I can’t get a waiver (not sure if they are on the same page or if there is a breakdown in communication because Mr. Sherman said that I still have a chance and he was sending it up). To give some clarity into who i am and why im doing this. I am not running from anything or trying to "go back to war". I was aviation operations, I worked in the S3, It wasn't a 'grunts life' per say. Not being braggadocios, but I currently have a 6 figure salary, I drive a Porsche, I have a great job as a project manager, and a beautiful wife. This isnt something I NEED financially, I know that people would love to be in my position but I have learned that money and THINGS aren't everything and I am left wanting in life. My passion and love is truly in service, serving my country, and I LOVE the Army, I miss the day to day life, the hierarchy, the structure, changing people’s lives, from those we are sworn to protect to those who serve under me. I have other future options, I have passed the first 3 phases of another government agencies process and have that as an option, but it is not what I truly want to do with my life.   I feel my dream slipping away and there is nothing I can do



I guess my main question is... When Do I stop fighting for what I want...? If USAREC comes back and says no, If DA says no... Do I drive to Washington knock on the door of the Department of the Army? When do i stop fighting and accept my 2nd choice or 3rd choice? Every time I think about not being back in the Army i get a knot in my stomach and feel sick, I dream about it, It consumes my free time for reading/watching TV. My current job is ok, Federal job would be great, but when do we give up on life goals, especially when it is out of our hands?



I understand this sounds petty, and very first world, people have much greater problems, but personally for me this is a hard pill to swallow and itis effecting myself and my family daily. We have put off having kids, buying a house, etc waiting for a clear path...



Any advice from Jocko, Echo, would be greatly appreciated or even if the community wants to chime in it would be appreciated as well.  Thank You Sir.

[jonjon1415]

Caveat. Signed up for message boards, but activation key isn't coming through.

[mynewunit]

Came through as jonjon2997. Try Signing in. Check spam filter. Let me know if you need additional help. I will answer your longer post Shortly.

[mynewunit]

When do you give up? When you change your goal.

If the Army is fumbling, I would talk to the Navy or Marines.  The Navy seems to be particularly tolerant when it comes to older joining.  The marines might just tell you to lie about your age (I jest). 

Lets assume no one wants an Army grunt turned Officer. What are your other options?  The Army has lots of jobs without joining up.  Former Army gets priority and better positions.  Also, there are a bunch of departments that like a dusting of military before you join them.  Dept Treasury investigators get a car, sidearm and sent to find bad guys by chasing dollars. FBI, Secret Service, USPS police. I also don't know exactly how ROTC works, but if you are looking to coach up young skulls full of mush, that seems right up your alley. 

Then there are a bunch of military style jobs. Blackwater (now a different name), SWAT, militia, and then tons of Veteran owned companies that do everything from shoes to coffee.

I understand that platoon commander is pinnacle of manhood. You can lead outside that circle. Same feeling only less intense to get the contrapositive of Jocko's saying.   

jonjon2997

[jonjon2997]

Thank you sir.  I didn't specify, but I am 1 step away from Quantico.  Already passed all the major phases, and have that as a backup.  Letting go of the first choice is always so hard to do.  Thank you for the advice, I never really thought of it like that...changing the goal, and getting after it.

[mynewunit]

Okay. That is a little more substantial than, the recruiter bought me lunch.  

The way you get into West Point USMA is with a letter from a Senator or US Representative.  Might be worth a call to your elected official, or show up at "admissions" and ask who makes the decisions, what you need completed, any way you can help, have you checked all the boxes.

And have an "offer" or "counter offer" from the Navy with you might not hurt.