Addiction

[emjay]

Hey troopers. Noobie here, but on my third time round listening to the podcast. I listen to it at 1.5x speed, is that cheating?

I wanted to post this because jocko hasn't talked about addiction yet. A lot of what he says about inner demons seems bang on, but I've been an addict for 7 years now. It's messed up my life for last 5 years and I'm having doubts if I can beat it. Any input would be appreciated.

[mynewunit]

MJ, 
Jocko has touched on addiction a few times.  Specifically he has let Peter Attia and Harley Flanagan talk about it because they have actual experience.  I have never been addicted.  Well, technically I am the medical definition of caffeine addiction.  I do run in circles where I regularly deal with people who are friends of Bill W.

Few quick hits. 
1. You need to get into a circle of people that don't "use".  
2. You need some people who know about your addiction who can check in with you.
3. Get a new Passion. Weights, Golf, Church, Books, Not social media.
4. Throw up some walls, speed bumps, guard rails so if you ever start heading of the path, you hit a few reminders.

Take it a day at a time. Keep up the good work. The longer you stay on the path the further you can fall without crashing. Stay on the path and with those who help you.
Welcome to the boards.

[jj17]

Hi - seconding the above post about finding people in your life to talk to about it. Most importantly people that are going to be a positive influence and are not users themselves. You have got to get away from anyone that is going to try to pull you back in the wrong direction. Also, I feel like everything that Jocko talks about is useful in battling addiction, maybe just in a roundabout way. Taking ownership of your situation is the biggest thing. Everything that you have done in the past is over with. Coming to grips with that and realizing that you have no one to blame but yourself is key and then realizing that you can use that to help you move forward. If you can take total ownership of your mistakes, then you can realize that you are the only one that can dig yourself out of that hole. You have the power to make that change and say "NO" every single time you get tempted in the future.

One of the podcasts I listened to a while ago talked about people having trouble saying no to foods they shouldn't eat. Such as being at work and someone brings in donuts and you feel like you cant say no to it so you make an excuse to yourself for why you should have just one. He talked about thinking about it like an insurgency. Like these temptations are going to sneak up on you and if you let your guard down for one second they can get you. You may be having a bad day or something but you cant let that be your excuse to give in. Making a game out of it helps too. Taking pride in saying no each and every time and allowing that feeling to make you stronger, like you overcame that obstacle so it makes you feel more confident that you will be able to overcome the next one, and so on. Don't let it make you feel weaker and have the feeling that "I said no this time, but I might not be so strong the next time". Its the opposite! Every time you say no, you build up that muscle and you are a little bit stronger for the next temptation, and then the next. That is the game you have to play in your own head to get control over it.

I am not sure if any of that makes sense... I hope in some way it does. My own personal experience was with my own mother who was addicted to heroin and alcohol. Watching her destroy her life was the hardest thing I ever had to go through. I always thought that there was something I could say or do to make it click with her to get her to stop but I failed and couldn't save her. There is only so much someone else can do for you. At the end of the day, the buck stops with you and only you.

I wish you the best of luck. Stay strong!

[exmachina]

Alcoholic checking in.

I can go weeks, months at a time and then I get very lonely and will, out of weakness for some conversation, go to a bar. Then it turns into every other day for about 2 weeks until I mess something up and back to sobriety again.

I have been to AA and never liked it's atmosphere. Alot of people at meetings, at least the ones I have been to, want to try and befriend you to rip you off. Remember that they have had a long history of shady behaviour. I always white knuckle it and do well when I have a relationship going but after that, since I don't have any living family, I am stuck with solitude.

Podcasts help me at times as it sounds like someone is talking to me. I had joined a BJJ Academy but I didn't make friends there, quite the opposite.

I feel, personally, any addiction needs to be replaced with another. When I go long stretches of sobriety I get mad at myself that I never could handle it properly and in reality people think you are weird if you can't say no to one. Feel free to message me on here if you feel an urge or whatever. I know how it is. A demon I will carry around forever. But that's just the way it is.