Post by jvwren on Oct 31, 2016 15:12:18 GMT -8
I listened to Episode 44 this afternoon. The last question, the one about good things happening to bad people and Jock's answer had me thinking--what does a leader do when his or her courage is tired? When there is an issue that you cannot share with your team, but at the same time, needs to be set down or eased? Where do you go? What do you do? I am looking for ideas.
Let me tell you a story to explain what I mean...
I am a mother of three terrific boys. My eldest son, Ben, is 15. He was born with an eye deformity that has resulted in visual impairment significant enough that he has always been considered legally blind. His eyesight has deteriorated over time as well, and he will probably lose what vision he has left.
We have taken the approach, from when we found the situation (he was 6 weeks old, thank God we found it so early), that the goal is to raise an independent adult. He started as a child, but he must live most of his life on his own. So we rarely tell him he can't try things, he is in a main stream classroom, and he has flourished. He earns excellent grades, he is active in extracurriculars, including Boy Scouts where he is a Life Scout. We receive compliments on how good a kid he is. He also has his teenager moments, and is as stubborn as the day is long. He is not perfect. But the plan is working. He wants to go to college in Engineering, possibly. I am pretty damn proud of him, even when he argues with me over his algebra homework. Never try to outstubborn your mother!
So what is my problem, you ask? I know in my heart of hearts that we are doing this right. But doing it right means I have to be strong enough to cope when I am scared out of my mind for him. It takes a lot of energy to not let him EVER see it. He rides a bicycle by riding faster than he can see out in front of hi., It works because he believes in himself. As much as I want to tell him to be careful, I limit how much I say that, because I don't want to hold him back. Who knows what he will be able to accomplish? I am NOT going to restrict that.
My husband and I lean on each other a lot, but we also try hard, as partners in this leadership exercise, to not infect the other with fear. But suddenly the three years until he leaves for college seem very short. And the challenges he faces are a bit bigger than riding a bike or going off on a Scout campout.
So what are your thoughts on how leaders cope with situations where your courage is tired? I know we will get through it. It isn't like I have any other choice. But I am curious about how others approach this type of problem. It isn't unique to parenting.
Thanks,
JV
Let me tell you a story to explain what I mean...
I am a mother of three terrific boys. My eldest son, Ben, is 15. He was born with an eye deformity that has resulted in visual impairment significant enough that he has always been considered legally blind. His eyesight has deteriorated over time as well, and he will probably lose what vision he has left.
We have taken the approach, from when we found the situation (he was 6 weeks old, thank God we found it so early), that the goal is to raise an independent adult. He started as a child, but he must live most of his life on his own. So we rarely tell him he can't try things, he is in a main stream classroom, and he has flourished. He earns excellent grades, he is active in extracurriculars, including Boy Scouts where he is a Life Scout. We receive compliments on how good a kid he is. He also has his teenager moments, and is as stubborn as the day is long. He is not perfect. But the plan is working. He wants to go to college in Engineering, possibly. I am pretty damn proud of him, even when he argues with me over his algebra homework. Never try to outstubborn your mother!
So what is my problem, you ask? I know in my heart of hearts that we are doing this right. But doing it right means I have to be strong enough to cope when I am scared out of my mind for him. It takes a lot of energy to not let him EVER see it. He rides a bicycle by riding faster than he can see out in front of hi., It works because he believes in himself. As much as I want to tell him to be careful, I limit how much I say that, because I don't want to hold him back. Who knows what he will be able to accomplish? I am NOT going to restrict that.
My husband and I lean on each other a lot, but we also try hard, as partners in this leadership exercise, to not infect the other with fear. But suddenly the three years until he leaves for college seem very short. And the challenges he faces are a bit bigger than riding a bike or going off on a Scout campout.
So what are your thoughts on how leaders cope with situations where your courage is tired? I know we will get through it. It isn't like I have any other choice. But I am curious about how others approach this type of problem. It isn't unique to parenting.
Thanks,
JV
