Retiree Question

[adaml]

Sir - 
  The first time I heard Jocko speak was on the Ben Shapiro podcast and I was hooked.  I just started listening to the Jocko Podcast from #1, and a few weeks later I'm on #31.  As a result I've ordered and started reading Extreme Ownership.  I just retired from AD Air Force (Apr 2018) and working on finishing my college degree.  I've been interested in LE and Biology, so Wildlife and Fisheries is my next goal.  I bought a clue that I better make some changes in my leadership style (I don't want to make the same mistakes twice).  I need to trying to learn what I wouldn't learn, couldn't learn, or wasn't taught on leadership.  I'm taking ever situation I can remember, that was an issue and trying to reevaluate that situation and see what I could have done different and what was out of my control.  More questions, I'm sure once I finish the book.
  My question today is this.  As a former Commander, I'm sure you've heard the saying, "Take care of your people and Nobody is going to take care of your career, but you".  For 20 yrs, I've heard many Air Force leaders (from SecAF, Generals, Squadron CC's, and Chiefs) say this.  No matter how many people I ask, I never get an answer that makes sense to me.  These two phrases were almost said in unison together.  It always gave me the impression that you better take care of yourself first (human nature), because nobody is going to help you, then if you have time look after your people and help guide their career. I never completely understood these ideas. I always told my Airman that if they had questions, I would do my best to show them what avenues they should take.  I'd never hold their hand, but point them in the right direction.  I witnessed a lot of people stepping on others to advance their career.  
   Retirement has been a rough transition.  Who am I without the uniform?  This is all I've known and wanted.  How do I take what I've learned (good and bad) with me on my next journey in life?  How can I improve myself?  How can I throttle back, enjoy everything in my life that has flown by, or I've missed because of being in the military?  How can I change and be a better person for this next chapter? How do I get to know my family again?  At least with college, the "new ops tempo" has given me time to reflect and revaluate my life.
    Thanks for the input.
   v/r Adam L.

[mynewunit]

Okay. A few bites here.
Number 1. Take care of your people - this means you keep your team ahead of yourself. Like the Simon Sinek book says Leaders eat last. Taking care of your team means that you sacrifice of yourself to meet their needs. They will reward you by doing what you ask.
Number 1A. The only one taking care of your career is you. When your team is thinking about how great you are, the last thing they do is try to get you promoted. So in the Air Force as in most sectors of life, if you want to advance you need others to know it and you have to write your own press. We know the guys who chase points to make rank. Guys who say things like I will retire when I make Col. Do you want to be a full bird or just want his retirement pay? If you are the Lt who is taking care of his troops, don't expect someone to find you and hand you rank, assignments, and promotions. Getting noticed is your job.
Number 3. The next mission. This is multifaceted. It also doesn't have a clear score board. There is family, self improvement, career, possessions, finances, and more. How would I proceed? Play along. Start as your wife's helper. She is going to find it difficult to learn to use you in civies. Then play along with the kids. And at school. And at work. Let them teach you the game. You have 20 years of real experience. You will see the patterns from things you know. Learn from everyone. Don't worry about having everything defined on the next mission. Be clear on what you can. Critters and Law Enforcement. Try dog handling, ASPCA, fish and game, and what ever. Find the team you like, the work you like, and how they play with the other facets of life.
You are not lost, just not focused. You are too smart to be all thrust and no vector. Putting together a vector helps to have a few good spotters, coaches, advisors. You might already have them, you might need one more, you might need a few. Let me know.
Thanks for putting in 20 years Captain. Keep up the good work, and take care of your own career.

[adaml]

Thanks for the reply.  Just had that issue, for now.  I retired as an E-6.  Tested a few times for E-7, but decided that my degree (Biology) was more important as the long term goal than making rank.  I always knew the train ride would end, so looked at long term goal instead of short term.  Struggling to take the drive I have and place it into my new life when civilian life doesn't work the same as military life in many aspects.  That phrase seemed to contradict what the AF Core Values were and it just never sat well with me in the context it was always said in.  Thanks again - A.