Bullying? Fraud? Bad experience - need advice

[Guest]

Hi, I've been listening to this podcast for a few months now. I went through a bad event in 2015. Creepy guy scammed me. I found out someone had unauthorized access to all my accounts. I tried to reach out to a friend and the FB profile turned out to be a fake or the profile is real but the guy is fake dunno. But bassically I freaked out and tried to "run" to the only acquaintance I had in the area and it turned out to be someone else. I lost my account, my cards stopped working and worse yet I tried to report it as fraud and it didn't work. No one would write down the report. Police said there's not enough evidence. My college treated it as a joke and some of the profs started harrasing me about it big time. I ran into someone , an industry professional, around the same time. Literally, the same week, and did an internship and things seemed to be going ok for a while. But he kept dangling a job and instead tried to become "friends". Started acting more and more forward. Basically I had to distance myself from him.

We also had a conversation where I told him that someone had tried to scam me and was impersonating some guy I used to work with and he insisted that it's not true. He knew, 100%, that I'm wrong about what happened. We agreed to disagree but I made it clear I'm a little sensitive about gossip at the moment and am trying to keep everything super professional. Nope! He did everything he could to NOT respect the boundaries. Every chance he got, he would push the envelope. I would go and have private conversations with my profs and talk to him later -bc he kept saying to call him about the job - and he would make a point of telling me he already knew what I discussed with the Prof, Dean etc. Despite the fact that I kept insisting on keeping things more professional. The more o was around him the more problems I seemed to have at the college. It got really ugly really fast. He was close friends with the program coordinator. I couldn't say anything negative about him at all to anyone at the college. That, plus the wierdness with the scam , plus the fact that he kept making a point that he has a ton of influence over my program. I quit. I basically ran away. Nothing like this has ever happened to me ever. I didn't even know it was possible. He started asking me about my family's business...implying that my father is doing shady stuff. He might have been right about that. But, I don't know anything about it. My parents are basically separated. And how is that his business? also, he was using it to justify him being an asshole to me! I've never done anything shady in my entire life. I keep trying to get away from the situation, but I still have some dude that definitely wasn't who he said he is. My family is worse than no help, as they've always pretty much been. I REALLY want to report the fraud and I'm thinking of trying online so no one can interfere to change my story for me. Everyone started pressuring me to change my story. What the hell is this? I feel like I tried to better my life and ended up in scam Utopia college with possible organized crime associations. Something is wrong with this picture. Super wrong. What about my friend? I mean he wasn't a perfect person or anything but that creep definitely wasn't him. There were obvious physical differences. Why does everyone think my reporting it is more problematic than covering it up? He's already the victim of a scam...how could I possibly make it worse by reporting it?! His university said he had quit, when I tried speaking to security. They said he just suddenly dropped out. He was playing varsity sports, he was in sciences at a top university. No one cares. Why? How? Also, may I add, his life wasn't perfect, he did have some family problems of his own. It's why we became friendly to begin with , I could tell him about my family crap without the judgement. Not a lot, but basically he got the jokes. And he was funny.

And I can't share anymore cuz this is too messed up and it's messing me up too. Basically he had to work hard to get into that program and on that team. His ticket out of whatever crap was going on at home was through there. And no one cared that someone is trying to fuck it up for him. They basically threw me out as soon as I mentioned fraud. That dude was really creepy. He said he has a gun, he knew where I lived . I never told him. I am not wrong. And id theft isn't new. Why didn't they want to do anything about it? Why try so hard to convince me I'm wrong. It's not like if they freak me out I'm magically gonna start liking ppl I don't. Creepy boss man never had a chance to begin with. Creeper is married too. He's like an octopus, every chance he gets, I had to place extra physical distance between us. I just don't like ppl like that. What is this? Did I honestly run into some kind of organized cyber crime thing?

I hate all of this. Im literally trying to distance myself from everyone who knew and laughed along and that's everyone basically. How do I get my life back on track and also somehow distance myself from this. What about my friend? Just bc there are ppl trying to manipulate the situation doesn't mean they're not succeeding and doing real harm . I know I'm being manipulated but it's still real. It has impact. They stopped hiring me. I was almost homeless. I was on the honor roll. This all happened within a few months. It feels a lot like someone is systematically trying to wreck my life. They knew. The college knew I already had problems at home and they used it as leverage to get me not to speak out. Instead of helping, they made sure I remain dependant on the crap I was trying to distance myself from. Why? And more importantly, how do I turn this situation around. I'm not ready to give up on everything I wanted for myself bc of a few well placed pigs. And that includes the ones I'm related to where applicable. My family was happy, they laughed. In my heart I disowned them that very moment. We hardly ever speak anymore. Though they did take the time to try to kick my ass as soon as they saw me again. Charming ppl. But again, the school knew and used it as leverage. Someone explain. Anyone. Bc the fact that shitheads exist isn't news. But it was never the majority before. It was one or two, and rarely. When did they get organized exactly? Why are colleges and universities helping them along is seems?

[Guest]

His coach was relieved he had quit. He wasn't *on it*. He didn't give a shit about helping me , he wasn't concerned that he may have been experiencing bullying. He was just relieved he had quit and technically it wasn't his problem anymore. It's easy to be a cynic, but the truth is most ppl aren't that great. They're never going to be. When did it become ok to adopt an actual policy of fuck everything it's not my problem? He was quick to ask me if it had ever happened to me before? If maybe there's something I'm doing wrong? Maybe it's my fault somehow. And he wasn't the only one. And that asshole would be boss / mentor did the same thing. What did you do to deserve it? You must have done something. See, here's the thing you can actually pressure ppl into doing stupid shit. You can then manipulate bad situations into a positive outcome for yourself. But that only works if everyone around you is quite stupid. Possibly retarded. And i don't know how to fix that. But it should be fixed. And if you don't care, you should, bc universities are supposed to allow people to build a better life not be hunting grounds for crime. When you have incompetent ppl in charge that's what happens. Problems just pile up. Nor is it a guy thing, my last female boss yelled at me and then fired me bc I didn't clean fast enough when she's the one who dropped the ball on providing cleaning supplies. There were none available. None. If enough ppl bend the rules, then the rules no longer matter and really bad guys get away with really bad shit. Their first impulse was to blame me or find a way to play us against each other. I can report fraud bc some idiot thinks it's more fun to blame me for it? Everyone has someone in college or in university. Everyone has kids or plans to. Almost everyone. How is it so easy for ppl to NOT see the problem with this kind of environment. I used to coach sports part time. Every single time when you don't pay attention to it, some kid is chasing another with a stick. It's just nature. But when you do provide the right leadership, they all go home happy. There's a difference bw leading and playing ppl against each other. There's a difference. That person who doesn't know that should NOT be in that role. No one can twist that around right?! WTF... There's posters on the wall that warn again gang violence. How do you miss THAT obvious of a connection. And to end on a merry note...can I see them for incompetence which caused me undue hardship , endangered my life unnecessarily and for just being god awful ppl? Bc they deserve it. That would be justice. I don't even give a crap what sport you like. This type of shit is the reason why coaches that molest athletes get away with it for decades. This is why! Compete on how good you are, on natural ability, not on how well you can fuck up your competition. Have some bloody pride in yourself for Pete's sake. If you have women in your life you care about - if your only response to tension in your family is to be a bigger asshole, ALWAYS, no amount of good will will ever save your sorry butt from problems down the road. It's not all take, take, take. It's not all your way or the highway. If you do that I hope everyone leaves you, bc that's what you deserve. Trying to f#$% the interns isn't going to fix your problems. You're a horrible human being. That's not *bro code*. You can't cover that up, bc those ppl will continue being toxic and no decent person with half a brain will work for you. I used to be excited about life. I believed I can make a difference. If I try hard enough anything is possible right?! And then I woke up one day and somene flushed all my work and accomplishments down the toilet in a few months and everything boiled down to which disgusting piece of trash human being to work with bc *that's life*! Literally, that's what they said. It's just life. Me being a pig to you is you life. Go talk to a therapist if you don't like it. Me encouraging other pll to act like pigs is just life. I have it on text!
Here's the problem, I'm not good at accepting this type of rampant idiotic corrupt bullshit. I am good at playing along if I really really need to but I suck at just accepting anything that is wrong as right. I suck at it. Trully. Theres no event in all of history where compromising with asswipes works out well long term. None. Some times it leads to cold wars which are better than warn wars bc they save innocent lives. Which I am all for. BUT this isn't war , it's just life and these shit heads should be fired. And proper leadership will fix your gang problems. Higher education done right can improve ppls lives. And if you teach everyone to fight a little, do what they can, a lot of big fights can be avoided. A lot. Seeing the other point of view is not useful if your at war, but it's very useful if you don't want to be. And in this case this is real, this is what happened. None of it needed to happen. None. And as a society in general , regardless of culture or ethnicity, we must reach a point where speaking up against blatant abuses is no longer seen as a you problem. All my life I managed to not have any sort of issue with authority. But before this - I didn't encounter so many people blatantly abusing theirs and I didn't encountered actually needing help and no one doing anything about it. I was always there for other ppl. I did everything I could to do the right thing. They just refuse to acknowledge reality. If I had ended up dead, chances are they'd be relieved - and that scares the shit out of me. And it's wrong. Their perception is wrong. They did the same shit with him too, oh he said he has problems at home and you believed him? Yes! He was telling the truth. Also most ppl don't lie about that. It's a very stupid lie. You almost always get shit for admitting any problems at all. Most ppl suck at basic empathy. It was a woman that sad that, it was a dude that tried to play it up and convince me I'm wrong about the fraud thing. It's not political I'm not making any statement. This is just regular idiotic human bullshit. But it does have major impact. It can ruin lives.

[Guest]

To give an example, I moved right after this happened. Bc the incident creeped me out. My landlord still charged me for breaking my lease even though apparently that's not legal, but hey who cares. Anyway I moved, and I asked permissions if I can ask some of the guys at work to help me with the furniture. It was in the middle of Winter with furniture, on ice, and there only one of me. When's the last time anyone tried moving just by themselves, literally no one else. Try it, I dare you. Try it when your over fix feet with lots of muscles and see just how much of a pain in the butt it is. On text the reply was *of course , no problem*! As soon as I walked in the reply from stupid creepy boss dude was *no no I'll ask for you. I was going to just reply well do you think you know anyone well enough to ask for help with that, but I didn't want to jnsult you. I'll ask for you and if they say no ill help you.*
That's the shit head that is 100% sure im wrong about the fraud thing. And my friend is just an asshole. And it's all my fault anyway. And my family sucks so there's no where I can go soso I might as well accept that this is just life. If your having trouble answering just imagine I'm a daughter, niece, etc and answer that way. It's what I do when I'm struggling to find a solution.

And... I ended up moving alone. He still knew where I lived, the college knew. My advice. Try a tarp. You can use a tarp if it's winter to move your couch.  But no yeah, I'm sure he'll make a great leader for the college.
Is there a retards annonymous available? Bc if so I know a few ppl that need to join it .

[mynewunit]

Extreme ownership would say the common thread is you. Assume it is your fault. Now this starts to breakdown under 2 conditions. The first is if someone in your small orbit is at fault. The answer is to remove some or all people from your inner circle. Create distance from family, friends etc. Next flush your financials. New bank, tax guy, etc. It takes a month or 2 and there will be a few things that mess up you will have to fix all of them knowing it was your fault. The way you fix these items is to ask what you need to do and fix it their way, even if that seems like a pain to you. Obviously ask questions and don't do anything you feel is wrong or risky.

The second thing is problematic communication. I have made a handful of assumptions about you given details you have used. I have a few items you need to fix with your communication. First, you need to learn that men communicate different than women. When a woman communicates a problem, they want empathy. They want the other person to validate their feelings and share their experience. When a man has a problem presented to them their goal is to get to a solution in as few steps as possible. Hence, use a tarp. They will also be dismissive of things they don't see as aspects of your relationship. So if your relationship is professional or romantic, they will be dismissive of personal problems.
Finally, getting scammed. This should not be something people learn about you until they have known you for a year. Don't ever portray it as a sob story or make yourself out to be the victim. If you need to talk to someone about this try to set limits to the conversation. Asking a friend, "any idea on how to report a fraud?" Is fine. If they ask why, you say "I had something sketchy happen and wanted someone to look into it so it doesn't happen to others or me again". Then go back to talking about the weather or tight ends of the NFL. As for actually being frauded, hit a local police station. They will take a statement and start a report. They will tell you it is out of their jurisdiction, and then you ask who would handle it. They will dig through and find you a phone number, email address or website. You can follow up with them. The thing you are probably going to learn is that hard to get judgements on people who have personal relationships for theft or fraud. You might be able to sue for misuse of funds but this will most likely cost you more than you lost and never yield any compensation. If you want to pursue this, your new evening and weekend hobby becomes documenting what happened to you, who did it and under what terms. Next you get to educate yourself on what the actual laws and standards are for such a crime. Once you think a crime has been committed you will find a law enforcement entity that handles this law and hand them your homework. Then it is a 50/50 chance that they actually act on it.
I am often called dream crusher on these boards. That is not my intent. I am trying to give you a peak at the most likely path toward restitution, prosecution, and ejudication. In general, I have exhausted my helpfulness on this topic. Good luck. If you want a few books that might help, feel free to ask.

[Guest]

Hi,

I just realized someone responded, cool.

I actually did end up breaking it down the way you suggested immediately after it happened. I came to the same conclusions. Though I will say this, you are completely wrong about the gender thing. All my life I was told that whole women want empathy and men want to fix it thing. Yea, that's bullshit. The tarp was my idea and the "man" who I spoke with who took the opportunity to try to get into my pants is technically a man, though I use that term very liberally obviously. Don't worry, I wasn't special in any way. He liked acting like a bit of a jerk since the beginning. BUt he was good at his profession which is why I tried to overlook the more colorful aspects of his behavior. I pretended he was just joking around, my mistake. It wasn't really a mistake. At that moment he was the best person to try to get a job with, by far. Its easy to be the best when everyone else is barely trying. To be clear I told him about the "incident" BEFORE i took the position. Afterwards I filled him in on the details. Which he did prompt for. He was not "dismissive" of personal problems, he liked to use personal problems to gain an advantage. He also liked to tell everyone his personal problems. Particularly in regards to his marital problems.

He liked gossip more than most women I know. Told his whole office that my phone had been hacked and then proceeded to try to pin the blame on either me, or my family or my friend etc. I would say he understands how the "system" works just fine, sir Dream Crusher. I would say he's doing a fine job exploiting it. I also understand extreme leadership just fine, but even Jacko says there are cases when that's not the answer, or when people misuse the term. Don't tell the abused wife to take extreme ownership of her husbands mood swings for instance. He's already blaming her enough to justify his behaviour. Perhaps in just cases extreme ownership look different, The common thread may be me at the moment but I managed to be alive and functional for quite a few decades now and nothing like this ever happened to me before.

Master creeper was a prof at the college, in case that wasn't clear. Politely distancing myself from him has had a lot of negative consequences professionally. I did document as much as possible but these things are extremely difficult to prove and they do not occur just "after hours". The bank sent me to the police to get a report but the police never did. Said I didn't have enough proof. It was fraud. The college handed me my papers of resignation when I tried to pursue it. I didn't have a personal relationship with the guy, he was just a guy I met at work. Am I supposed to not report any crimes concerning the opposite gender bc ppl might invent relationships? That seems grim.

I wont have much use for books, I can't afford a lawyer at the moment. I would like practical step by step advice on how to deal with actual bad actors which are purposefully trying to manipulate the system and silence anyone trying to report them by using peoples biases against them. Without having to go to court where they can crush me with their superior court experience and better lawyers.

Extreme leadership for me has always (emphasis on always not since I ran into this blog) meant to do the very best I can with the resources I do have in order to progress in my life and career. I put myself through university, I obtained a degree, I've been working since I was 16 and I've NEVER had any such problems before. I understand there is a need to dismiss reality in favour of the fantasy that I must have done something wrong and that's why everything went wrong. To be honest I've had moment when I believed that too, but I went back through every single decision with a fine tooth comb and I didn't. I followed the same path everyone else does. They're manipulating the system and bending the laws. Hacking is illegal. But you can make it damn difficult to enforce. And you can convince a bunch of idiots that it leads to easy money. He knew what I was discussing with the associate dean of my college in what I assumed was a confidential meeting. He knew what was said. I tried to call him by his last name not his first and the head of my department corrected me. For instance: if the name is Bob Smith. I would say: I had an internship with Mr. Smith and he interrupted me and insisted to just call him Bob. And MR SMITH, knew what I had discussed with the head of my college. And he told me he knew. AFTER, I told him that I had that incident and I really need to keep and eye on things and limit the amount of gossip going around and track who knows what, so that I know what the relationships are. He told me to document things too. And then proceeded to show me just how useless that can be. He also firmly believes that there is nothing the police can EVER do in cases like this. It was a mistake contacting them the first time. Afterwards he told me he'll look into it, himself and then refused to ever answer any questions about it again.

You tell me. What does that sound like to you?

I'm not saying its easy to prove. I don't know if it should or should not be a police matter. I'm pretty sure the police is already getting a lot of "prank" calls. This is not a "dream" and I don't need anyone to "protect" my dreams. I want to know if you'll sleep better knowing this is happening. And I want to say that there are people who create and then try to use these kinds of situations for their own benefits. How exactly am I supposed to take extreme ownership of fraud? I can't avoid work and universities forever. I went to school, I went to work. Im a straight A student. I had a scholarship. At what point do you think its ok to put some "ownership" in the hands of people who's jobs it is to prevent this sort of thing.

That's rhethorical. Its now. The time is now. The time was when someone decided to integrate fb onto school servers. So my profs can demand my personal account for "business" purposes and then enquire about my love life and relationship status. Really?! A guy hacks harvard and then is allowed access to all colleges, universities and mobile devices? No one thought this is a problem? The time was years ago. Some problems are preventable. If I ran a mission this way, a lot of people would be dead. If you ran your missions as sloppy as they are running campuses, everyones identities would be compromised. Everyones.

So I'm going to just go ahead and tell you how I did take actual "extreme ownership" of the parts I could. I did report it to everyone, whether they could actually take the report or now it does not matter bc I did do my part, they can no longer claim to be unaware of the problem. I did report the threats and harassment which occurred afterwards. In writing, to the college. Now I ended up having to quit bc there's only so many breakins and blood on the door which cannot be prosecuted which I feel is healthy to ignore before you "get the message" especially when no one feels they can step up instead of laughing along.

BUT the report exists and apparently there was an "initiative" to promote "consent" stuff afterwards and not being a bystander to bullying. I was a little sad I wasn't mentioned in the credits. But considering they were really trying hard to avoid a lawsuit and not just doing it out of the goodness of their hearts, I guess I understand why.

And I have actually done step by step testing of all the social media platforms and email providers which is how I can tell that your website is actually set up extremely well. I would like advice on how I may set up my own using the same technology.

In terms of social media, Twitter is the best. Facebook is the best at extracting information with the least amount of security. The college must have actively been trying to promote hacking before I got there bc their practices are appalling in retrospect. And google can be tempered with easily as long as you have the password or access to the device or a tablet. Actually, if you know the victims password, bc say you have spyware on a college computer, and buy the same tablet they're using you can just walk into and out of the account. No security alerts get triggered. I set up an account to test it and then deleted the account. Imagine my "happiness" to have been locked out of the account I had been using for all of my adult life and which had enough information on it to steal my identity while trying to change my password yet again on the college computers while my classmates giggled in a corner.

Yes, I did tell people, bc I was trying to do the right thing so I told them not to click on anything they may receive from me bc I was worried it might be infected links or spam. Instead of getting a pat on the back for my excellent judgement, teachers started hitting on me and guys and girls started making porn jokes. My taking a position with MR SMITH was supposed to help me put this mess behind me. Instead, THAT is what he did. Made sure to find a way to blame me and practically made me unemployable. Six months ago I was getting threatened with stabbings. They can get through android device encryption. Like I said I tested it and someone quoted back the random stuff I wrote and then deleted. Did you watch the news lately? What was is called...Pegasus something? The computers need to be replaced. The hardware needs to be replaced and the software updated. Surveillance is not helping you bc they're using common words and common terms. I had to write down really weird stuff to make sure its not just something really common. They disrupt communications, you get wifi problems, you get hacking problems, basically you get a crap ton of stuff that suddenly goes wrong. I have no way of knowing if that person that quoted it back to me is the one doing it or if they're just another victim like me. Do you understand? They're playing people against each other to get an outcome. That person was an asshole before, but that doesn't mean they have the technical means to do this. They're just random assholes. They don't care if it does damage to any relationships or people. It doesn't matter to anyone if I end up dead or not. In fact im sure quite a few would be relieved.

I hope that's a good snap shot of the problem. Sweet "dreams". Perhaps I can have my own nickname. How about: "stupidity crusher"?

Could you please tag Jacko in this, or just tap him on the shoulder and ask him to give an input. I would like a variety of view points. It helps.

I don't care what people tend to do. Or better said, I'm purposefully trying to get you to understand that "tendencies" are exactly what scam artists look for. They're playing into the "tendencies" to get people to do stupid stuff, and then take advantage of it. They know what you're likely to do, and how to throw enough suspicion around to make it impossible to prosecute. Its on purpose. University scams are NOT a new thing. It has nothing to do with me PERSONALLY, I'm just the dumb person who actually tried to FIX it. When I realized what was going on, I tried to talk to the people around me to try to FIX the problem. Do you think I am enjoying myself? Do you think I like watching decades of my own accomplishments somehow wiped away because people like gossip?! I was the person always trying to do things right. I had my own challenges in my life, but I was the one always pushing myself and others to overlook that sort of stuff and do the best THEY can, and forget about the stuff they have no control over. And random "family drama". Screw it, concentrate on you and what you want to do, you can't change THEM. That was my motto before this. "Every problem has a solution."

How do I beat a predator who feels empowered to manipulate the system I thought I could rely on? These guys were supposed to be a minority, a fluke. Now they're everywhere. And feeling pretty invincible.

I feel like this might be a good problem to contemplate while "crushing dreams". Why can I not shake the feeling you might be in your 20s and gave yourself the nickname.

Please assume I already did all the usual stuff, in all seriousness. I'm not trying to be rude but I'm getting a little tired. I understand its difficult to take appropriate action. That's my point. That's why I'm talking to you. If enough people know, I increase my odds that I'll run into someone who wants to FIX it rather than sit on their butts and contemplate the unfairness of life. I tried telling a cop. They all agreed its not possible and I imagined it. Two bloody years before they started talking on the news about hacking! Months before the stabbing and shooting spreed in TO. What do you think happens if everyone just goes "meh"...just them kill each other its not our problem. Wrong. You can't stop people from being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Its everyone's problem. I don't have any more friends left. Im trying to make new ones. And yes, I now mostly lie about what happend to me for the past few years. Its a fine way to really build trust and healthy relationships.

Everythings great, really! Nothing to see here folks. And when they fire me from jobs randomly, I lie about that too. Here's the issue, its not working out well. The people I am making friends with, don;t understand why my bosses randomly fire me. They're there with me, they see I'm OVER performing not UNDER performing. And they wonder why? I can record them. I can record them asking me details of what happened, I can record their "advice" on how I should be handling it. I can record them insisting that its the same guy and its all his fault. You know what I can't do...afford a lawyer! And I'm fired anyway, and they know that. They're counting on it. Its better for me to lie, then end up in a lawsuit. Try to wrap your mind around that for a moment and then tell me how to FIX that. Give me an email provider that's not present EVERYWHERE, and can be hacked with a tablet. Understand once and for all that corruption creates MORE crimes not less, there's just less of a RECORD for them. But if you know what to look for its easy to find the problem areas. Open networks...extra emphasis on social media...bullying...fraud...shootings....politicians eager to befriend young interns. Yea, no, its so hard to see why the reporting is difficult.

Some men would sell their souls for money. Some would start wars just so they can f*ck their own daughters, without anyone noticing. They do exist. But they used to be the minority. And suddenly that's not the case anymore, is it?

You all like to fix things? Fix THAT. I gave them solutions which would have bypassed everyone's current favourite arguments so they can work together to improve things and FIX the problem. And I was outdone by a little prick who just wanted to fuck his interns in peace. Bc he told everyone its either me or someone close to me. Sure. Or its him. That could be it too. Or its a guy half way around the world. You know what would be useful...to FIX the giant LOOPHOLES. And stop encouraging people to BREAK THE LAW, bc they're not likely to get CAUGHT. That's the part where they handed me my signed college resignation form.

I wonder which other giant assholes might be exploiting said loopholes to gain an unfair advantage in the market place....Who else has need commiting university fraud and getting away with it? Just how often does it happen? So many questions... so few answers.

If only there was a way to combat this issue...like say, limit access to the public servers, fix the loopholes of the email providers, protect your wifi, provide victims the ability to speak out and narrow down the list of suspects so law enforcement can actually prosecute them, and make sure the lives of victims don't completely fall apart afterwards? I feel confident this approach might fix a lot of societal issues at the moment. If only there were people willing and able to look at complex problems, break them down into smaller chuncks and work out solutions to them in a way which bypasses most peoples paranoia about "surveillance states", takes into account privacy concerns and actually provides incentices for CEOs and other people of influence to actually used their influence for good and help out their country by something so simply as building adequate, SAFE, housing for students, and throwing some money into womens shelters. Funding a few pro bono lawyering firms, working to change the conversations and such.

Where might I find a group of people really good at organizing and providing leadership to their communities with the contacts and experience necessary to pull off such an interesting "thing". With the discipline and time to actually go about and break down said problems and put in the sweat equity needed to turn the current "tendencies" around and redirect some of the misplaced energy of a lot of people right now? These are the questions that keep me up at night Dream Crusher. So many questions. So few answers. I wonder...is it possible that if more good strong men spent more time building womens shelters instead of dieing in some morons war, if the world would really be a worst place. Cuz I see a lot of assholes on their last legs bc the world changed and they're not good at adapting and I'm thinking over here to myself...wouldn't it be cool if they weren't able to rally their "supporters"/sad subjects into some conflict and instead everyone decided to sit home, have fun with the missus, and help relieve some societal pressures and frustrations and set an awesome example for the next generation of young, strong men who don't have to get blown up. I'm not saying there's never a cause to fight, lord knows there are. I'm just saying fight smart. I personally do value people and I'm happier when they're happy, working hard and content and in one piece for the next generation. I think appealing to the BEST in people means that I can find a good use for almost anyone. Something which makes them feel fullfilled and proud without stomping them out of existence and making them sell their souls and then telling them it was all for a deep reason. I'd rather that deep reason be the next generation.

The fighting spirit didn't change. The weapons did.

The "spirit" can be honoured by a good round of wrestling, some BJJ, some weightlifting. And men should know that they can and need to do more then just blindly follow and pay the price for other peoples mistakes. That small, consistent changes can have more of an impact than a big boom sometimes. They should know the difference between love, sex, and rape. A lot of things should be improved and a lot are being improved. They'd be improved faster if there were more people willing to overlook to idiotic arguments that it cannot possibly be done.

And societal laws and systems should reflect reality. That's an ideal, but we got to this advanced point in our society by someone, somewhere, pushing for an ideal. Not by going "meh, fuck it...". I don't think you lack the energy. And I do my best to help by keeping ideals practical.
Looking to pin blame for a crime which is almost impossible to prove is not practical, its malicious. Telling a victim of fraud that they "imagined it" or were hallucinating or whatever other bullshit they can come up with, is the act of an imbecil or someone looking not to fill out a report. I don't care if they're men or women. It ensures no one will ever report again. It ensures the reports don't see the light of day. It ensures there's no data on this and nothing to improve upon.

And finally, only a moron would think its a good idea to let a predator continue engaging in that behaviour or continue manipulating the system. That's the same kind of mentality which people mock when its a woman defending an abusive husband. People don't magically switch personalities. They're abusive at home, they're abusive at work too.

Ive never been in an abusive relationship and I always speak out when there's a problem. I did give them practical solutions, while trying to avoid any personal details and they refused and turned the conversation back to me, personally.

If someone defrauded you it must have been your fault. If people are threatening you, maybe you're just not good with people. Hacking doesn't exist. Identity theft doesn't exist. Or my personal favourite: why would anyone want to target you? did you do something to deserve it?"

Jacko didn't invent ownership. Its was just nice to hear someone else say it. I'm not the kind of fighter you normally talk to, but I do fight in other ways. I never thought to turn it into a business but I like the idea.

Would you like to hear how I took extreme ownership in my early life? Or have I made my point? Be honest. I did a whole of a lot more to FIX this on my own with no resources then most people do with ALL the resources. If there's something else I didn't cover please provide feedback and a breakdown below. I tackled it as a logic exercise and narrowed down the possibilities systematically taking into account: technology, monetary issues, legal issues and public opinion. Those were the variables. Like I said, the problem is a little complex. A lawsuit in these circumstances would only be a distraction. I wouldn't sue them for the tech stuff, I would sue them for waiting over a month and forgetting to let me know if the cameras caught anyone stealing my phone from my jacket, after I told them of the break in. I'd probably have a better shot with that angle. Yes...its documented...they know that, they wouldn't release my records without asking me in a hallway if I plan to sue them. Classy. Truly a spectacular example of higher education standards. I wonder why we're not winning on the intelligence and knowledge rubric.

If only I wasn't broke...huh...go figure. I wonder why I'm having problems getting a job after this. Weird. Oh well, back to lieing I guess. I think I'll start counting the number of ways I can make small chat while avoiding talking about entire years of my life...


Stupidity crusher...out.

[mynewunit]

Check.

First, this is an incredibly nuanced opinion. Telling a University that they failed to secure your digital information is like telling your ISP to not look at you data usage. Trying to prove that someone with lawful use of that system is unlawfully using that access is live trying to prove invasion of privacy. Then in the state I live in, a District Attorney would have to prove you didn't 'fail to secure' your personal items. Basically, if they steal your phone out of your unlocked car, you are negligent.

The fact that a large organization kicked you out rather than try to understand your problem is very typical. Most large companies have policies that dictate how to handle internal conflict. It is usually says dismiss the lower rank. A perfect example would the Michigan doctor who abused all the gymnasts. You should be able to find the employee handbook and other organizational information if it is a public university.

My answer is you fight the system. And probably not in the way you think. First, you need to raise awareness about the value of the information you are talking about. Second you need to create a "product" that fixes it. Then either another company will buy it, copy it or what happens in IT a lot it becomes law and we all get to sign more waivers, allowing the law to not apply to us.

How am I handling this? Much more of the elementary school version. We don't need women's shelters if they aren't being abused. So I put myself into the lives of other young men and try to teach the the way to success and honor.

[guest]

I didn't tell them they were negligent to secure their network. Even though they ARE. There is absolutely no reason for them to demand access to all your electronics and then have open networks and open logins on their computers. Whether they failed or did not fail is irrelevant bc the law is no where near clear enough on that aspect. I can find expert opinions from professors who know about this subject that will prove that. Everyone already knows it exists. Their way of dealing with it is to make it harder to trace a breach in order to avoid any potential legal issues. They accept the fact that its happening and just do nothing about it.

I don't want to fight the system. I can't afford to and I don't want to. I've always been quite happy to work within it. I didn't tell them they were negligent. I told them to stop encouraging students to treat hacking as a joke. I told them someone set up a fake account or just hijacked one bc a man showed up claiming to be someone he is not...and they kicked me out. What am I supposed to do with that? What am I supposed to do now?
I don't think you quite understand my position. I have no one. If you have a problem there is someone you can rely on to help you. I had NO ONE. I still don't. There were no friends to help out, no extended family to take me in, no couch to crash on - nothing.

You will always need the shelters. Bc you cannot guarantee that those men or women will act the way you teach them to. In general within a population there are always some on the fringes that don't quite want to do things right. If you have no shelter, those people end up dead. There's no where for them to go when things go wrong. You're taking care of one end of the equation - the path forward, towards progress, towards teaching people how to be better people (which is awesome and inspiring) - but you forgot about the other side of it - how to deal with the fall out when shit goes wrong. That's necessary. Bc some people just want to f*ck you. They just do. There was zero requirement for them to react the way they did, zero. I would have taken them maybe a couple days to contact the original person and let them know someone compromized their electronics and online identity, and help them put their life back together, and contact me and let me know it's been taken care of and help me put mine back together. It would have taken nothing to do that! Nothing. A couple phone calls. At that point it had had no monetary impact on me. None. Not yet. It had had no social impact. People starting trying to bully afterwards. At that moment it would have been so easy to intervene in a positive way. No law suits, no ones to blame, it was just an unfortunate incident but we dealt with it together.

"hey, long time no see...guess what some ass hijacked your account./ Shit, no way, gotta change all my stuff, thanks./ Cool, everything else ok?/ yep. you? yep/ well this is gonna make a funny story some day, gotta run now, bye/ haha, ok bye."

See how easy that was? See how easy it was to NOT be a complete jackass of a human being.

Employer/boss scenario: "Hello, sir, if I could have a moment of your time...I just wanted to give you an update on that little incident about potential fraud that I mentioned before. Just to let you know, I did get a couple of crank calls and some of the people around me are starting to act in a way that is making me a little uncomfortable (they're saying some rude stuff, etc. about me, about this person who I believe was a victim) - it seems to be mainly just gossip but I wanted to let you know in case any of it gets to you: these are the facts (insert facts) and the rest will die down eventually, just take things with a grain of salt and check in with me if you feel that is necessary. Do not give out personal information about me to anyone right now. I'm just letting you know, bc I like it here and I don't want this situation to affect my work or opportunities here going forward.

(insert normal reply - which has nothing to do with offering to do me favours or anything else inappropriate for the situation - what does your family do? I can't help you if I don't know more details. Keep insisting you'll help me secure paid work going forward if I tell you more personal details or find ways to push into areas of my life which you know I wouldn't normally discuss with you but feel you might get lucky with at the moment bc I'm feeling a little shaken. Keep hands to self. Don't promise to help my friend and then refuse to discuss anything going forward. Don't tell me there's nothing anyone is authority can do to help me bc its outside the system but I should rely on you to help me instead. - you know...don't act like a jackass. Keep hands to self. **Note in general - if you try to go in for what you think is normal to you and that person flinches away, once, twice, several times and keep trying to increase the space...get it. Get that hint. Stop trying. I shouldn't need to constantly push hands off my knees or shoulders. I definitely should not need to do that during the above mentioned discussion. Or afterwards. NO WOMAN EVER wants to increased contact with strangers when she's already feeling like her privacy was invaded by an asswipe with a fake profile trying to get in her pants. That just doesn't happen. I does NOT exist. Pay attention to body language. Pay attention to spoken language "please do NOT repeat details or tell the rest of the predominantly MALE staff details. I normally can take a joke and have relatively thick skin - I loved the "penis in the sky" thing I heard of on the news, btw, have been laughing out loud for the past 2 days about it - but this is NOT that scenario, right now something bad happened and I need to be extra careful for a while. Right now, I'm exhausted and scared and I need you to NOT talk about this. Right now I need to move bc a fuckhead stole my friends identity and knows where I live! That's whats happening right now. Its not the time to push my boundaries and see what you can get away with. Its NEVER that time, but definitely NOT now. What I might have brushed off yesterday, is definitely going to be a problem for me today.)

"OK, thank you for letting me know." *back to normal work conversation*

There, done. Taken care of. No problem. Do NOT speak to my dead behind my back and let me know you're doing it going forward. That was supposed to be a PRIVATE conversation. The only reason I'm keeping in touch with you is bc you promised me a JOB. And I really need one right NOW. That's it. Its not for you to complain about your wife or talk to people behind my back and insert yourself into PRIVATE spoken conversations, when I'm obviously reluctant to have online conversations at the moment. Don't keep dangling jobs. If I did a great job, which I did and you said the internship will result in paid work going forward that needs to start right away not in a year during which you keep crossing boundaries with me.

Basically, global moderator, don't be a complete asswipe of a human being. Bc you know what you're doing, you know you're just making me feel worse about it, and prolonging the issue instead of letting me put it behind me. You know that! Don't use it an a way to push your way into my personal life and cross boundaries you know you shouldn't cross...bc it would be difficult for me to prove you did. You getting arrested or sued should NOT be the only thing keeping you in check. Bc if that's your mentality you'll do everything you can to rig and manipulate the system in your favour and have a hell of a lot more resources than a young woman in a new city with no one around to help her.

Some people just want to f*ck you. And when there's no where to go where your life isn't getting worse, a lot of people end up dead.
Do not tell me that its the same for men, bc for most it isn't. Your boss might fire you if you show up to work hung over one too many times...I over performed and THAT's what happened in my life. Unless you can personally guarantee that this cannot happen, you need the shelters and you need them to be well funded and allow pets and children. Bc its easier to destroy a life then to shape better people. It takes less time and less effort. If inspiring people to be better was all it took, we wouldn't need the military. We wouldn't need police. Your logic does not add up.

I know I've been extra careful all my life and this still happened. I still managed to get from no issues ever to THIS is a few months. I was almost homeless. I basically starved for a year and a half. And they STILL fired me for someone else yelling at me. Even though I never complained. Bc I couldn't afford to lose the job. Defending your community should mean more then picking up a gun. I did believe most guys are generally good guys, except no one did anything to intervene. No one told him to stop, no one stepped in to say "no". That's all it would have taken. Just say NO. And I don't know how to accept how little it would have taken someone to make a positive impact and how much they refused to. I dn't know hoe to wake up tomorrow and feel ok that I live in a world like this. ANd i'm having this conversation right now trying to explain to someone why this is a problem. THey're NOT all like you and a fair portion don't WANT to be. And I need to know that we can get to a point where the SYSTEM reflect and accounts for these people. Bc pretending they don't exist makes them stronger and better at what they do. And leaves a person like me with NO ONE to rely on and no system to fall back on. That's why. I know I did everything I could have. I just don't know why its not good enough. Bc I'm never going to actually grow a penis, and I don't want to, Ive never been one of those girls that believes she's got a "patriarchy" problem. I told my soci teacher that thats nonsence. BUT there was nothing for me. And the only thing I learned is that there is a very deep divide bw theory and reality. In theory most men are fine human beings. In reality a lot are pigs. Something has to change. There has to be a shift in your understanding so that they females you actually do care about in your own lives don;t end up in these kinds of situations. You need to address the full scope of the issues.

They created the problem not me. They were the ones who would rather push me out of school and fire me then make a couple phone call. They're the ones that told me NOT to encrypt my phone AFTER this happened. That was their IT guy, not me. I just said "No", bc someone had to and no one else wanted to. Bc id rather they make changes bc they're afraid of lawsuits then not make them at all. But make no mistake, when they wouldn't release my school records with asking me in a hallway if I plan to participate in any lawsuits, I said No, at that time and meant it. They fired me anyway, they made me quit anyway. They're the ones making people choose bw following the laws, flawed as they may be, and doing their best to work within the system or breaking them and going the hell with it who cares. I didn't cause the problems, I just refused to participate in propagating them. I'm not f*cking anyone for a job. Id rather be dead. If it really comes down to it. AND I sure as hell am not helping him set up or pin the blame of that guy I knew. There is no policy which says that I have to. If there is...maybe someone can change that. Bc I see lots of people willing to bend over backwards to help assholes bend the system to benefit themselves...but somehow me requesting changes which would benefit everyone and improve the system... THAT's where we draw the line!

I agree that there are cases when the best of us don't survive. I grew up with rats in my building. I still have a degree and put myself through university while dealing with ALL the bullshit beaurocracy. While dealing with my OWN family issues in a foreign country. You don;t know me but you should know people like me exist. Bc we do. I learned english in a month, I still aced all my classes. I had scholarships to the universities and colleges. I was on the honor roll before this happened. I don;t cheat the system, I don;t need to. You can't tell me that it cannot be done. Ive seen very few things which truly cannot be fixed.

You know what, there's usually plenty of time and warnings before hand which people refuse to listen to. No one says only assholes get to write the rules. No one says you can't try to make positive changes. No one. Its not written in any stone. There's nothing stopping anyone from providing solutions to problems. You don;t have to wait for the worst of us to kill off the rest. You should give to shelters bc Im a whole lot more awesome then those morons and I almost didn't survive. Because I'd like you to care more about my existence than anyone else's excuses of why things can't be done. Then the excuses of messed up, lazy, cheating old men with nothing better to do then f*ck up peoples lives. That's why.

I don;t have to write this, but I want to. I want you to know the truth. Bc it might matter. It might make a difference in your perspective. It might make a difference in the stories you tell other men and women. I exist. I didn't threaten anyone, I asked them to do the right thing as nicely as humanly possible. I didn't beg them. I don't beg. But i didn't threaten, I was not unfair. I did not lack understanding for their position. I wasn't rude. And I did not share the level of emotion with them that I am putting in this right now. I was extremely careful. They just didn't want to do it. Look at the big picture, in all its complexity then break it down into solvable problems where this is neccesary. Fix the cracks in the system and reward those that do.Move things forward. Account for ALL the variables and for reality not just ideals.

[Update]

In case anyone is interested there are phones with apps which record conversations without giving you the option to edit them. Might be useful in case anyone else actually can afford to sue. AND you would need a way to prove that you're telling the truth vs all the other "witnesses". The only reason I am saying this is bc when all of this was happening I did have the "key players" try to go around and say that no one will ever believe me and they have more palls then I do in the industry who will side with them. And to never bother applying to jobs again and to not bother trying my luck at a different school...basically they REALLY did a number on me. It took me a year to even get to a different school which offered the same program and when I did it was the same situation. Same set up, same attitude. Same everything. They knew me already too. I don't know how to reset this shit basically...but app which doesn't allow modification is pretty cool. Yay!

Another question: anyone know why every phone allows for pranking apps which let you make spoof calls if they have your number? Or more importantly...do police have tools to differentiate bw spoof calls and real calls? Bc THAT would make me feel SO much better! And then I can finally stop avoiding giving out my number and have ppl give me weird looks. Btw I keep getting wierd calls. No matter how many times I change my number...I get calls from the US (primarily) which are honestly just wrong numbers I think. Its either the bank or a medical center of some sort which thinks I am a doctor...loool. I wish I was, but definitely not. This happened within a few days of my getting a new plan btw. I didn't actually give out the number to anyone. But I used to never get these and now they're happening quite frequently.

[Update]

Also, global moderator, I think the main problem in my case was their attitude and feed back. I was not trying to cause any problems at all. I really went to great lengths NOT to...but see my first interview on campus my boss was bragging about how to college has no ability to regulate them. When the actual attack happened the police feedback was the same, the bank feedback was the same. Yes, we pretty much know that this is happening but don't talk to us about it bc there's nothing we can do. If you push past that and insist, they start saying its a YOU problem. There were people everywhere I looked to insist that there's nothing they can do AND get mad at me if I try to get them to take ANY responsibility. Its the difference bw someone trying to make a difference and failing and someone going "hahaha, yea there's nothing they can do hack away, lmao! oh look this idiot is just not getting the message, lets just f*ck with her for a while and she'll get it in the end. We own your ass idiot, and no one is going to do jack shit about it! lmao! sure, go complain, the branch manager is my buddy I got him this gig."

That's the difference. And in my area everyone is SUPER adverse to lawsuits. Plus to be honest im pretty sure I wouldn't win and even if I did...you really think it should take me suing a school or a person for incompetence or malpractice will change the environment enough to make all the colleges update their system...? come on, that's not practical. They'll just find loop holes. They don't seem to get the point. You can't regulate everything to death, the idea is to make it harder for truly evil bastards to do damage. That's it. Its not to drown everyone in a ton of regulations that can be circumvented with just finding some idiot to lie. I just don't know why they won't differentiate bw ppl trying to do something right and people trying to cause problems.
If you go to the police and say: someone hit me with a brick, no one starts questioning why you went to the police, or what your childhood was like...bc that has NOTHING to do with someone hitting you today, does it? You can have all the laws in the world, I can't explain why they refused to take the report. There's no report. They circumvented legal issues, by just not writing it down. You go into a meeting with your boss, believing that he's a reasonable human being, you tell him in good faith you found an issue and instead of addressing it, he just refuses to and fires you. Now what? And again this is happening is College. They're just dumb kids. They're already spending at least 50% of their time trying to mess with each other. Of COURSE you will have a problem. How would you NOT have a problem. We don't give guns to kids for a reason, right? Poor judgement and motor control. The adults should be able to enforce basic rules. Except the adults are too busy watching porn on their office computers and trying to screw the interns. How would you NOT have a problem?

I didn't try to make anyone look bad, or start any legal issues. Im saying if you don't regulate properly and enforce good behaviour, and encourage ppl to act like assholes and then pay them for it, chances are a LOT of assholes will emerge.

[Guest]

for me, they took the ownership thing in a bad direction. I did let them assume it was somehow my fault, I did take the responsibility for it and asked them how to fix it. I took ownership of the problem and they decided I must know more about what's going on then I did...instead of treating me as the victim, they started treating me as the perpetrator. "Its your fault it happened, get out." I know for a fact its not. If you don't tell us who you think is doing it, or just name someone, we'll make sure you never get another job again. If it wasn't you, it must have been someone close to you. Tell us who. They had no authority to question me or try to get leverage over me. But they did it anyway. They knew I had some family issues anyway and every time someone else said something inappropriate going forward they blamed it on me.

Tell me, has anyone actually tried to find all the cracks in your life and use it to basically shatter it. Have you ever approached someone in good faith and asked for their help when you really need it and they just turned around and kicked the crap out of you? I like the system. This issue pushed me outside it. My circle, my family. No it wasn't perfect, but it wasn't me either. And they weren't the ones calling the shots on campus.

You probably think people should have dignity and a spine and not just blindly do what they're told...if someone came up to you tomorrow and tried to get you to lie would you do it? What if they had a really good reason? Would it be ok, then? What if there was no one to help. No one to step in, no one to stop it. I refused to lie. That should mean more then whatever story they want to push. If i had not, I would not have been able to live with myself. If I tell you that nothing you do matters more then your circumstances, circumstances you couldn't possibly control...what does that do to you? Thats not ownership, that's not independence.

Its easy to dismiss. Say it wasn't that bad. Say other people have worse problems. Im sure they do...and im sure they're also told the same thing. By people who don't care who they hurt and how many people they step on. Because its easier to break ppl down to build them up. Its easier to make them feel ashamed for having dared to try to for better, then to let them have that "better". Isn't it?

You want to know something funny...part of me believes them...part of me believed that it was my fault for having dared to say anything, for having dared to report, for having had the audacity to stop them from pinning the blame on a teenager, or ignoring the ones who were trying to cyber bully. I managed to find an actual perfect balance which doesn't allow them to ignore either side of this issue. And instead of going: wow, ok, this person has the ability to do this and wants to fix this issue, they found a way to make me feel bad about having tried.

Just like they found a way to make me feel ashamed that I had the audacity to try to contact my friends. Just like they tried to make me ashamed of everything else they could find. For a blog that uses the words psychological warfare...you don't recognise this for what it is? You don't recognise that thinking you're wrong to hope and work towards "better" is just a weapon? you don't recognise that someone men use it just for kicks? If I told you that nothing you ever did mattered more then the faults of people around you, you would believe me? If someone told you, you are wrong to fight for a better world, to not lie, to not step on people, to not betray things which you cannot even contemplate betraying and to work with people who make your gut twist in disgust would you just accept that? I think not. If you don't, why should I?

The moment they convince you to not have hope in humanity, to not trust your gut when it screams "no", that's a bad moment. Its a moment when you accept that you just need to accept the shit and not question it, and work with shitheads. And they will betray your trust bc that's what they do. That's why your gut was screaming at you; its not indigestion.

And people like me don't seem real anymore. But I am. And ownership doesn't mean taking the heat for other people's corruption issues. Or their ignorance, or their lack of good will. No matter how hard life is for them, they should have the ability to recognise the world does not actually revolve around them. And yes, its worse for others. And they should try HARDER. That would be ownership on their part. I don't try to be optimistic bc I have nothing better to do. I think its our duty to be as optimistic as possible bc there's a lot of people more then happy to bring down the level. Who are most comfortable at that lower level.

There's no one like you here. There never was. I never had that. I relied on my relationships with other people, outside my immediate circle, to get that sense of community and they took that away from me. And then asked what I did to deserve it? Who gave them the right to try to justify their cruelty, selfishness and stupidity? No one. They tried to make me choose between earning a living and working with f*ckheads and called it "life".

You can develop all the disclaimers you wish to avoid problems, but if someone does to you what they did to me, none of those disclaimers will mean a thing. Im not telling you this to make you feel bad, I'm saying it on the off chance that you can help. That it will protect you. Its what I do. Its what I always did. They couldn't find anything I ever did wrong , so they cheated and lied. I didn't have the weapons to fight back. Maybe in turn I can find some peace with this. Maybe you'll be able to come up with better solutions and that will protect me too. If they pin it on a scapegoat or if I had named some random name like they asked...they would have found another reason to remove that person and changed nothing. They had no intention of fixing it. Selfish cowards don't wake up and decide to fix things. they wake up and exploit vulnerabilities. I messed that up for them a little bit. I really did do the very best I could in that situation. They didn't try to make it a me problem bc it was one, they tried to do so, so no one will help me...to turn around my belief that people generally want to help. Isolate me, scare me, make me stop trying.

I don't think I should not try to speak to you bc you're different than me, even though you are. I don't mind the differences, if you don't. I never brought up a lawsuit, they did. To get me to shut up. I asked for my transcripts. My confidential records. They made me promise not to try to use them for legal purposes, in a hallway. It was easier to do THAT, then tell that asspole to stop encouraging shit. You really think they would have acted that way if it had been you or Jacko they were speaking to instead of me? Hell you think they would have done it if they knew I have tons of friends and family in the city? No. They went after the easiest target. And my spine is the only reason we're still talking. And my hope. AND my astounding ability to simply refuse to accept that its just "life". I know it is. Logically i know that. BUT, that's not the whole story. I'm life too. And I'm going to sit right here and continue being a thorn of ridiculous optimism even though everything sucks sometimes. Its my version of waking up and working out at 4:30 am. Its the best I can do. Ive never been one of those people that equates one corrupt jackass to a system problem. I like the system. But I also think you need to speak up so the corrupt assholes don't corrupt the system and turn it against you.

I went to class, I went to work...what else am I supposed to do with my life? go find a hole and sit in it? That bullshit only serves to scare people and to make sure no one says anything again. How are you supposed to have a comprehensive solution and unity and collaboration if everyone is too afraid to speak. Plus I know for a fact they were trying to scare me and get me to make poor choices...I was there, I saw the evil little gleam in their petty little eyes. Come on, wouldn't the world be a better place if more people tried to do the right thing and not let jerks manipulate the system? They don;t discriminate you know...its not like they'll only abuse SOME people. There were students from ALL areas of the world that didn't like the environment. But if everyone says no, then it stops.

Where am I wrong? I think my strategy is right, I just didn't have enough resources... and so I am communicating, I'm told I don't communicate enough anyway. I mean they did put up some posters, they weren't 100% happy about it, but it did happen...its hard to make jerks 100% happy. But if everyone is vigilant about jerks trying to manipulate the system and peoples frustrations...then we have fewer to worry about, right? I don't expect you to be able to solve all my problems. I just want to have the conversation. That's all. Its a free country, i can say whatever I want. That's a good thing. I plan on fully enjoying that privilege. If more ppl try it, then less people will be easily manipulated. See? And the world WILL be a better place and then I get to say "that's life".

If I'm wrong tell me how. I find I have this need to run an analysis if that makes sense...like grab a white board and break this down and tell people how to solve and set up arguments and analyse them for flaws and then go "eureka". How to solve complex problems 101. So if I have a tech angle and a political angle and a gut angle and a layman problem...how can all these things come together like a well oiled machine rather then a burned out and cracked up old clunker.

How do you find the balance between communicating while dancing around legal issues, and associated sensibilities (yay, disclaimers) and get people to see the need for security AND freedom of communication while still keeping into account that there might be people trying to manipulate this for their own benefit and the fact that you don't actually know any details nor do you really need to know them - lay person angle.

How do you meet/ satisfy peoples instinctive needs for things (security, privacy, honesty) while also keeping in mind that bad guys exist? And not having too many emotional moments online bc that looks bad, even though you were so done, a very long time ago and you're pretty sure you need to sleep for a century to actually feel fully charged again. Also you're broke, so very very broke. Which may explain some of the over emotion at certain points. You would need to get people to the point of developing partnerships for the global issues, while respecting local differences so no one gets distracted by petty issues. You would need to develop community based approaches, to combat the corruption/organised crime thing while not starting any sort of turf issues. You would need to find a way to disable the religious angle bc that always leads to unnecessary conflict and its really UNNECESSARY. And somehow not step on anyone's toes in the process and try to translate random egotistical miscommunication problems into actual useful information.

And somehow do all this under pressure and being aware that its best not to start any fights. Avoid conflict. You can't take the hits, so must avoid conflict. Oh yea...and not call anyone dumb when they insist encryption crashed your devices. Still. Still! And somehow find a way to get people to see that you can actually be inclusive, respect women, support the military and call out BS all at once and you should. You really, really should. No one owns ideas, you can make them your own. Doesn't matter who said it first or for what reason. There's always someone trying to manipulate people, don't let them. People like each other. Men like protecting women. Women like protecting men. WE all love diversity. We do. Curiosity always wins out over fear in normal situations. Talk, keep talking. If your're talking, no ones fighting. You can't undo centuries of cultural issues over night...fights will start breaking out. Slow and steady. Things progress at different rates, its not all the same. Different cultures, different technologies, weather etc. Account for the different rates of progress. Ignore the cynicism, bring out the best in people, repeat. Try to get people to tell the difference bw assholes trying to manipulate them and fights that need to be fought. Important distinction, can't do everything at once.

Its best if the best and strongest live to tell the tales. Don't get set up by random idiots trying to break the law in silence. somehow, somehow... and somehow get people to see that family problems don't get "solved" by bullying, hacking or isolation. Bc then you don't have the MEANS to speak out. And you're stuck in that situation and you managed to provide justification for people looking for a reason to break the law (They're helping make the world better - sure, dumbasses, or providing a grey area for the real assholes...or all of the above - its c. all of the above) and you can't do it, you really, really can't. Two wrongs don't make a right. You closed the doors to those people getting AWAY from those situations with your random dumbassery. You boiled their options to 2 negatives! No positive. And called it "life"...cuz u a piggy with no morality who likes taking advantage of bad situations. And I'd really like to roast his ass. And remember not to feel completely alone. Self care is important.


I wanted to be feel less afraid. Im talking to you bc it scared me and I wanted to be less afraid. I wanted to help. i had to do something. its horrible. its a horrible feeling for someone to reach into your life like that, and just press buttons until something bad happens. its horrible for people to disregard normal boundaries...especially when there's nothing you can do to stop them. its horrible when they don't seem to get what the big deal was or why you're taking it so hard. Because it was all you had and it wasn't much and they trampled it for the stupidest reasons. and now you're not quite as optimistic as you used to be...kinda like a bone that's not healing quite right...so you feel the need to reset it and hope it works better now, heals stronger, and there's no limp. bc you're still here and you'll be damned if you let them make anyone else feel ashamed for anything they can't prevent anymore. or let them define "life" for you. if you try hard enough, you can find the strength to accept them as they are and still try to bring out the best. find a way to talk without fear, or shame. no matter what topic. heal a rift. you dont need to solve everything, just enough to tip things in the right direction.

The best time in my life was when I wasn't afraid. Trully, and completely unafraid. I felt free. And had so much energy and hope. I felt I could breakthrough and right any wrong. See through any sort of BS. And I did. They tried to take that away and replace it with fear and shame and lies. Get me to betray the source of that feeling. Go against my sense of right and wrong. My feeling that fairness exists. Justice exists. Tried to send me backwards. It was cruel and fucked up and the answer is "no". you can replace ppl in your life, you cant replace yourself. Life is what you make it, and at the end of the day the good must outweigh the bad. Some things are worth fighting for.


*thorn of optimism*...out..i know, i know, its too long.